<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>But time makes you bolder by elle_maexx, FaeMelody</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24705538">But time makes you bolder</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/elle_maexx/pseuds/elle_maexx'>elle_maexx</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeMelody/pseuds/FaeMelody'>FaeMelody</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Waterloo Road (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:20:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>29,904</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24705538</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/elle_maexx/pseuds/elle_maexx, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeMelody/pseuds/FaeMelody</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eddie went to the choir competition, Eddie was the one returning in the Taxi. He found Rachel stood in front of the digger and when he was faced with losing her, he knew he couldn’t let her go. He just had to prove that to her as she had her mind set up on an entirely different outcome.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Lawson/Rachel Mason</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are you going to be okay?" Rachel asked as she walked Eddie towards the coach. She felt unbelievably nervous, and not even his presence calming her as she thought of what she needed to do in his absence. Melissa's reappearance was something she needed like a hole in the head, especially on a day as busy at the last day of term. Her sister knew was she was doing though, and that was another reason Rachel knew she needed to discuss what it was Melissa was hoping to achieve with the stunt she had pulled. "Thank you for going in my place, it's just.." She looked back towards the school and then back to Eddie. "I need to sort this with Melissa, as sisters."</p><p>Eddie nodded in agreement, grateful for any excuse to get away from Melissa before he said something he really did regret. It was only his love for Rachel that had stopped him really laying into her, knowing that she wouldn't appreciate him letting loose with his words on her little sister; no matter what she'd done. "Yeah, of course I am." He pacified her, knowing how excited she had been about the choir competition before the likes of Melissa and Ralph ruined their day. It was supposed to be so amazing, a last hurrah for the school before half term began. He only hoped that the holiday they had planned was still going ahead, as lord knows the two of them needed it now more than ever.</p><p>Rachel seemed to stop in place, frozen to the spot and oblivious to the students around her as she stopped Eddie also and pulled his attention back to her. The wind whipped around them and she cursed herself for forgetting her coat in her quest to catch up with Eddie and say goodbye before the coach departed. "Eddie, let's deal with this when we're back. We've got a competition to win and all that." She tried to lighten the mood, but one look at his face proved that no amount of jokes could take away from the severity of the situation. It was the unknown for both of them, and neither knew what they would be coming back to when the competition was finished.</p><p>"Yeah, well. You lock up and follow right behind me when you're done?" Eddie asked, hoping to get Rachel away from the place and the drama that the school brought for even an hour.</p><p>Rachel nodded, mentally lifting all the things she still needed to do before she could even consider the sit down with Melissa that was truly needed. "Okay. I've got the sixth form drinks to sort as well." It wasn't an excuse, per say, but she didn't want to make any promises if it meant breaking them only minutes later.</p><p>"Don't worry, you'll get it all. Just.. take care of yourself." He took looked back towards the school, knowing she was going to have a conversation with her sister that would change all of their lives. If Rachel decided she couldn't do this, if she didn't want to deal with the added stress of a new baby, then everything would change once again. He couldn't blame her, he wouldn't blame her no matter what it was she decided to do; he only wished that it wasn't a decision she was needing to make.</p><p>"Okay. Let's get you all on." She turned towards the students, herding them onto the bus to hurry them up. The sooner she could speak to Melissa alone, the sooner a plan could be put into place. She didn't want to halt on her plans, didn't want to lose her one chance of happiness with the one man she had ever truly been in love with. They had ideas for their future, places they wanted to visit together and things they had always wanted to do. Michael had been included in their plans, Phillip too. A factor that hadn't been included was Rachel's little sister and a baby that would be related to both of them.</p><p>"Bye then."</p><p>Eddie's voice sounded so broken that Rachel wracked her brain for something to say to him, a reason to keep the conversation going. "Oh Eddie? I got the watch, thank you so much." She let the last of the students on before stopping Eddie as he climbed on and turning him back towards her. She looked up at him and took his face within her hands before he got too far away from her reach. In a move completely out of character for her, she pressed her lips against his delicately and hoped to Gods she didn't believe in that it wasn't to be their last kiss. They shared a small smile before the loud cheers of children interrupted their private moment, and they moved away from each other reluctantly. No more words were said as Eddie took his seat at the front of the bus, not paying anyone else attention as he stayed looking at her until the engine roared and the coach began to move. She waved to him and he waved right back, hoping his eyes were deceiving him and he didn't really see a tear make its way down her cheek as the school disappeared from him view, taking his view of Rachel with it.</p><p>Rachel blew out a breath as the coach disappeared, quickly composing herself for the few remaining students and flashing them a smile. Chlo was holding her baby, wrapped in a pink blanket and it felt like a stab through the heart.</p><p>The advantage of a mostly empty school was that there was no one to stop her as she hurried up to her office, thankfully closing the door and leaning against it. Perhaps it was a little dramatic, but she was alone and there was no one to see her as she slid down to the floor, closing her eyes and pressing her fingers to her lips as she finally allowed herself to break.</p><p>She knew how this ended. There was only one way it could… only one way she could allow it to. Melissa was her sister, and for all that she'd done, Rachel had always loved her. Right now, Rachel had never hated her more.</p><p>She allowed herself ten minutes, ten minutes to weep for the loss of Eddie, for whatever remained of her relationship with her sister and quite possibly with Philip as well, depending on what the boy chose to do. Ten minutes to mourn the loss of the future she'd allowed herself to hope for. And then she took a deep breath, swallowing hard and going to the bathroom the splash cold water on her face in an effort to conceal the evidence. She had work to do.</p><p>Drinks, chairs, a sign- all good things to focus on. The school was empty and her footsteps echoed as she moved around setting everything up, but she barely noticed, beyond being absently grateful or the silence and lack of need to communicate with anyone. She almost wished she'd gone on the coach, just so she would have had a distraction to focus on.</p><p>Footsteps from behind her had her glancing round, resisting the urge to mutter a curse when she saw Philip. She loved the boy, but right now he was one of the last people she wanted to see.</p><p>She swallowed hard, and carefully blanked her face. "Hello love," she murmured, before silently cursing. He hated endearments, barely tolerated them from his own mother.</p><p>"Hi."</p><p>She carried on working, only glanced up when Phil hovered without saying anything, looking awkward. "Something wrong?"</p><p>He shuffled his feet. "She didn't go in."</p><p>She paused, and let out a bitter laugh. "Why do you sound surprised? She was never going to."</p><p>That probably wasn't fair on the boy, but she was furious and heartsick and Melissa had known what she was doing when she walked back in on the final day of term at a time the corridors were swarming with students and staff alike, with a swollen belly and a definite plan. She blew out a breath, grabbed another bottle and pretended not to notice when Philip stood silent for another minute, before slinking out the room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rachel actually let out a groan as she left the room and came face to face with Melissa. She knew it was going to happen, it was the sole reason she'd asked Eddie to go in her place to the competition, but to actually be faced with her sister now was something Rachel didn't want at all.</p><p>"Not happy to see me?" Even after the days events and all that had happened with Phillip and the police, Melissa still couldn't find it in her to stop her smirk as she looked on at her sisters face. To add insult to injury, as soon as she knew Rachel's eyes were on her, she placed a hand on her large bump and began to rub it soothingly.</p><p>Rachel didn't know if she wanted to fall to the floor and cry or slap her sister around the face. She really did make it difficult to love her at a time like this. She couldn't comprehend how another person could gloat at the obvious heartbreak that the other was feeling, especially when that person is family and someone you should feel unwavering love for. Even now, as Melissa stood in front of her with her stomach full of a child that belonged to the only man she'd ever loved, Rachel couldn't hate her.. not truly. She disliked her more than she had ever disliked anybody, but she still loved her deeply. It made the entire situation even worse, as all she wanted to do was be selfish and run off with Eddie into the sunset. But the love she felt for Phillip, and knowing that none of this was his fault, or the babies, made Rachel's decision just that bit easier. "You won Melissa." She said the words as if asking about the weather, trying her hardest not to let her emotions show too much in fear that she wouldn't stop if she did. She saw Melissa go to speak and shook her head to silence her, now was her chance to get a word in. "I'm not fighting you for Eddie, we're not children. I love him, and because I love him, I'm walking away."</p><p>Melissa stood rooted to the spot. She'd expected an argument, she'd expected a screaming match now they were on their own and could really talk about their feelings. She'd expected to be called all the names under the sun, to have to defend her actions and her decision to turn up on the last day of term. What she hadn't expected was the complete broken look that her sister wore, and the news that none of that would be happening. It through her for six, and she truly didn't have a response for that.</p><p>Rachel sensed the shock she'd caused, and took that as an opportunity to continue just a bit more. If she said her piece now, she hoped that she'd not have to speak to Melissa again for a very long time. "One day, I hope you love someone the way I love you, my little sister; the way I love Phillip, and the way I love Eddie. He makes me so happy, makes me feel loved in a way I've never felt before. And to know you hate me enough to take all that away from me? I think we're done here." Rachel finally felt the tears start to fall, and turned away before she truly crumbled and all of her words lost their meaning. She didn't know where she was heading, just knew she needed to be alone and think of what the hell she was going to do next.</p><p>"Mum? You need to follow her. Now."</p><p>Phillip waited expectantly, but Melissa didn't move. "I… I didn't…"</p><p>He had to resist shaking her. "Then tell me why you hate her so much?"</p><p>"Hate her?" She looked at him in shock. "But I don't hate her!"</p><p>He frowned. "Then why are you so cruel to her?"</p><p>"I… I didn't mean…"</p><p>He crossed his arms. "Yes, you did," he argued, a little surprised at himself. Apparently, seeing his usually-strong aunt so beaten down have him a spine. Who would have thought? "You did this, today, on purpose. You're not stupid, you knew it would hurt her. I just… I don't understand why. Do you know she's spent the last few months defending you to me? She risked her whole career to get you a job, because you asked to be closer to her. And then you pull this." He shook his head in disgust, and went after Rachel himself.</p><p>He checked half a dozen places before finding her by accident as he walked past, sat on a table in Eddie's classroom. She was staring blankly at the bare whiteboard, and he thought she was crying. When he walked in, she glanced up to see who it was and quickly ducked her head, surreptitiously wiping at her face. "Now's not a great time, Philip."</p><p>"I know." He dumped his bag down, came closer to sit next to her. "Rach, you know I don't do mushy, emotional stuff, right?"</p><p>She let out a laugh, swallowing back tears. "I did know that at this point, yes. Why?"</p><p>He nodded in satisfaction, and hugged her.</p><p>She stiffened in surprise. Phillip didn't do physical affection- not ever. She didn't know whether it was a personality thing, or a result of his upbringing but regardless, it just wasn't his thing. He disliked receiving it, and she couldn't think of a single occasion before now where he'd willingly given it.</p><p>She must really look awful, she thought, snapping her brain in gear to hug him back. "I'm sorry you keep being pulled into our messes, Phil."</p><p>He scoffed, pulling away. "That's really not the big deal here. Are you really going to leave Eddie?"</p><p>She looked at her hands, a lump in her throat. "What's the alternative? Being that child's aunt and stepmother? It was bad enough to be dating my sister's ex-fiancé but this… this a bit too soap opera. I can't do it."</p><p>He didn't know what to say to that. She blinked back tears, managed to smile at him. "Hey- I know you'll probably want to go with your mother now, but I want you to know, your room is yours. Whenever you need it."</p><p>Philip gave a jerky nod. "Thanks Rach."</p><p>She patted his hand, rightly assuming he'd reached his quota for the day. "I have work to do. I'll see you later."</p><p>She left, and Phil kicked the desk in front of him with a scowl. He didn't need to be a grown-up to see she was hurting, badly, and not for the first time that day, he found himself wishing his mother had never come back.</p><p>Melissa watched her son follow after his aunt, immediately filled with hatred that once again she was perceived to be the bad one. It was always her left standing alone, always her the one that was told she'd made the mistake. But after Rachel's words, she found herself wondering why it mattered. She'd got what she wanted, Rachel had told her that she'd won. So why didn't she feel like she had in any way? She aimed to come back and claim Eddie as her own, and she'd done just that without even really speaking to him. But the words she'd heard over the last 10 minutes? She just couldn't stop them running around inside of her head. Did she hate her sister? She had never really given it much thought. She'd always answer robotically, that they were family and loved each other. But thinking back over her actions, she started to think about what a mess she really had made. Even before starting at Waterloo Road, she knew Rachel had feelings for Eddie. Sure, her sister had never communicated the fact in so many words, but the way she spoke of him and the way her face list up when she spoke about him; anyone with half a brain could work it out. Only when she saw him herself did Melissa really know what Rachel was on about, and all thoughts of sisterly love went out the window as she longed to have him for herself. Neither Rachel or Eddie spoke about the final nail in the coffin of their relationship the night of Rachel's return to the school, but Melissa used that as her way in. When the truth came out about her marriages, she tried to use their feelings for one another in order to get her up on the situation, but she knew she'd already lost Eddie at that point. So sticking around was pointless, even if it did mean leaving Philip. She knew it would only be a matter of time until the couple found their way to finally be together, and that fact alone made it all the worst for Melissa. Especially when she discovered she was pregnant, after spending many weeks barely sober. She was showing fairly early due to it being her second pregnancy, and knew it would be the perfect opportunity to rub it in her sisters face. She had something Eddie would never be able to turn his back on.</p><p>However, after seeing the way he reacted to her earlier, she wasn't so sure. He hadn't gathered her in his arms at first sight, in fact, she was sure he was going to hit her if Rachel hadn't stopped him. The way his features softened when he caught sight of Rachel made Melissa feel uneasy, and now made her realise that all of this had been a huge mistake. Rachel didn't deserve this, Eddie didn't deserve this and Philip didn't. He'd been happy with Rachel, friendships made and his grades finally picking up again. He'd told her that much outside the station, told her how much his life improved when she was no longer in it. Now there was no way any of them would let her go again, not now they knew about the baby. She truly had gotten herself into a mess, and could do with the help of her big sister. She knew that wasn't going to happen though, so follow in the direction Philip went to try and come to sort some of an agreement with the two of them before they all had to face later. That was, until, she was stopped in her tracks by the loudest sound she'd ever heard. She looked through the window to see a bulldozer stood in the middle of the playground pointed at the front of the school, and moved as quickly as she could to find Philip and Rachel.</p><p>Melissa was a big enough person to admit she wasn't always the cleverest person in the room, but she liked to think she was fairly clued up. She was beginning to revise that opinion, but it was rapidly becoming apparent that that her wonderful plan was perhaps not quite so wonderful. Not to mention the fact that she was coming to three very painful realisations, and at that moment in time, couldn't do a thing about them. All she could do, was watch while Rachel stood in front of a psychotic drunk who had somehow got a hold of a digger and seemed intent on using it.</p><p>The first realisation was simple enough. She loved Rachel. She was her big sister, the one person in the world Melissa could always run to, who had always forgiven her no matter what she'd done, who had held her hand on the way to school as children and faced with the possibility of watching her die, Melissa was struggling to breathe.</p><p>The second realisation as perhaps the most difficult. This was her fault. Melissa had known showing up on the final day of term would cause a ruckus, give everyone an entire summer to talk and speculate before having their questions answered. She'd had visions of swooping in, claiming Eddie and Philip, having people gush over the baby as she held court and Rachel was forced to fade into the background- instead, Rachel had remained behind from that choir trip with that sad expression Melissa had never seen on her sister before and was now risking her life to save the school. If Melissa had never showed up, Rachel would have been on that coach, safely away from danger.</p><p>Which lead to the third realisation, which was that Rachel was a much, much better person than Melissa ever could be. Melissa couldn't think of a single thing she cared about enough to risk her own life to protect, to do what Rachel was doing at that very moment. Her sister felt things so much more deeply than she did, she loved harder and cared so much more, even about a school that frankly, Melissa couldn't care less about. She cared so much she was willing to put her life on the line.</p><p>All three of these realisations hit Melissa very suddenly, and she thought she might have screamed at Rachel to stop, to move, but she wasn't sure and she may have just screamed in her head. Her sister stood resolutely, not backing down, and an unexpected fourth realisation hit.</p><p>Rachel wasn't going to move.</p><p>"Rachel!" This time, she knew the sound had left her mouth, just as she knew it wouldn't make a blind bit of difference to the headteacher.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie hadn't even stopped to think when he saw the picture message he'd received on his phone. Ralph's face was obvious, as was the placement of the digger at the front of the school. But it wasn't the building he worried for. Rachel was there, she hadn't sent any message to say she was on her way to the competition so he only assumed things hadn't gone to plan with Melissa and she was still there. He found himself once again cursing both Melissa and himself as he raced outside and jumped in the nearest taxi. He cursed Melissa for turning up, for being cruel enough to do such a thing to her sister and flaunt her baby to the entire school. He cursed himself for falling for it, all those months ago. He was only using her to get to Rachel, or to get over her. He knew which outcome he'd wanted through being with Melissa, but Rachel was far more selfless than he ever gave her credit for and Eddie hated himself even more so for that fact.</p><p>The car turned into the car park and Eddie felt his heart plummet into his stomach. The roar of the digger was almost deafening as he watched Rachel stand there. The world stopped, his entire life stood still as the woman he loved put her own life in danger for her job. He blamed himself, he could tell from her eyes that she felt she had nothing left to fight for. He noticed Melissa by the entrance as he left the taxi, being held back by Phillip. He couldn't help shaking his head, the woman who had left her son and sister for weeks without contact was now attempting to risk her life and that of her unborn baby.</p><p>He raced to where Ralph sat, determined to do everything in his power to save Rachel from danger. She stood her ground, eyes locked with Ralph and seemingly oblivious to the arrival of Eddie. Using this to his advantage, he opened the door and landed a hard blow to Ralph's jaw. With his attention momentarily moved, Eddie pulled the keys from the ignition and was able to stop any more damage from being caused. Without giving Ralph a second thought, he leapt from the controls and rushed over to Rachel, pulling her from harm's way and into his arms. He could protect her now, she was finally safe. Her body collapsed against him, and he took her weight in an attempt to show her that she could rely on him for support. "Rach, are you crazy? I thought… I can't lose you." He held her against him, running his fingers through her hair as he breathed in the familiar smell that had become to smell like home. She had stood her ground in front of Ralph, put herself as risk in order to save the school and now as he pulled back to look at her face; he knew exactly why. She was broken by the recent events, no fight left in her as she thought she'd already lost everything. Oh she had no idea, no idea just how much Eddie was planning to fight for her. "Please don't do anything like that again, I love you." He pressed a kiss to her head and froze as he let his words wash over him. It was the first time he'd admitted the extent of his feelings to her, and he only wished he could have said them under better circumstances. He'd planned to tell her how he truly felt when he'd whisked her away to Rome on their romantic getaway, and he only hoped he still got the chance to take her.</p><p>Eddie's words washed over Rachel as she allowed herself to hold onto him until her legs no longer threatened to give way beneath her. It figured that she could stand in front of a JCB without flinching, but would have trouble remaining upright afterwards. She knew he'd be furious with her, she still remembered his reaction to her actions with Denzil and the gun and he'd had less of a right to scold her then than he did now. His accusations would probably be right. She hadn't thought what she was doing through, hadn't thought of anything beyond protecting the school she had fought so hard for. She didn't even have the excuse of protecting a child this time. She'd accused Eddie of acting without thinking in the past- is probably made her a but of a hypocrite. She was just beginning to gain control over the trembling in her fingers, when what Eddie had said sank in.</p><p>She froze.</p><p>The words bounce around her head, clogging her throat, soothing and ripping open her heart all at the same time. Why did he have to say that now? Of all the times he could have said it, why did he have to choose the day they were going to lose each other?</p><p>Tears burnt in her eyes as her grip tightened around his jacket, and she buried her face against him for a moment, giving herself that before she had to let him go. Melissa should love this, she thought bitterly. She'd be able to swoop in and offer comfort, soothe the man's wounded heart. They might even be back together before the baby came.</p><p>Pain stabbed through her at the thought, and it wasn't even a conscious decision to step backwards, pulling away from Eddie's hold. They stared at each other, and on the tip of Rachel's tongue were the words she longed to say back. But it didn't take a genius to work out what Eddie was desperately grasping for- he'd always been the optimist in this relationship. But that left Rachel to be the pragmatic one, which was going to have the added effect, in this instance, of making her the bad guy. She just didn't know if telling him how she felt would lessen the blow or worsen it.</p><p>"If you don't feel the same, it's okay." Eddie took her silence for a completely different reason, suddenly regretting his outburst and the way he'd thrown out those all important words. They were meant to be said in a romantic setting, whispered words and promises of a future. Right now, he wasn't even sure they had a future.</p><p>Rachel felt the tears that had gathered in her eyes threaten to spill over, no matter how much she willed herself not to cry. "Oh Eddie.. I love you too. It's not going to change anything though. I can't do it." She admitted, her words a broken whisper knowing that this was it. This was the moment she lost the love of her life forever. "can't be your girlfriend, Melissa's sister, Phillip's auntie, the baby's stepmum." Even as she said it, it sounded utterly ridiculous and she hoped Eddie understood that too. She knew the situation was complicated before Melissa returned, but not it was beyond all of their control. Nothing could ever be the same after this, a baby changed everything.</p><p>"I won't have anything to do with the baby." Eddie cut in quickly, grasping at straws in an attempt to keep hold of her for just a moment longer. As he looked at the determination on her face, he was rocked to the core that he'd already lost her anyway. No words or promises could get her back now, she wasn't his anymore.</p><p>Rachel shook her head, swallowing the lump in her throat at hearing just how much Eddie loved her. "Even as you say that, you know you don't mean that. Eddie, you lost touch with one child and that nearly finished you. I won't do that to you again." She loved him enough to say goodbye now, so he could focus on his family and his new baby. So why was he making this so hard for them all?</p><p>"But you'll do this? It doesn't make sense. Rachel, I can't lose you." He practically begged, knowing he'd get onto his knees if it would mean anything to her.</p><p>Unbeknownst to both of them, Melissa had been moving closer and listening to their conversation. Phillip had warned her to leave them, told her that she'd done enough, but this was something she needed to do. Hearing Eddie promise not to have anything to do with the baby had hurt her, but only because it solidified just how much he loved her sister. Of course they'd spoken about Michael and Stephen, but clearly not in a way that he'd confided in Rachel. If he was willing to leave that all behind for her, then she was stupid to ever think he would come back to her.</p><p>"You won't lose her." Both turned to face Melissa, their arms still wrapped around each other and their faces looking utterly broken. Melissa had never seen her sister looking so distraught, and she once again found herself riddled with guilt. It was all her fault, but she wasn't going to simply sit back and watch them both give up. She had more to say, but was interrupted by the police and also the school bus returning to school with a coach full of children.</p><p>Rachel looked back at the school, knowing she had a lot of explaining to do. Melissa's words hadn't really done much to change her mind, but it didn't look like Eddie was leaving her side any time soon. "I need to.." She turned back to face the kids, where they were piling off the coach with shocked looks on their faces.</p><p>"We'll do this together." Eddie's words left no room for argument, and he kept his arm around her as they moved to address the growing crowd.</p><p>Melissa watched them, and for the first time, saw them. There was nothing possessive in his hold, Rachel didn't just tolerate it and the way they angled themselves around each other seemed almost instinctive. They comforted the kids, backing up each other's words in a way that could almost have been scripted.</p><p>It took less than five minutes before a group of distraught school children were cheering wildly. Rachel had slipped away from Eddie's hold, not to escape him but to soothe the more upset students, her arm tightly around one girl as she wiped tears from the face of another. Eddie was speaking softly to some of the staff, occasionally gesturing back towards the school or the pupils. And in the midst of all that, Melissa didn't miss that every-so-often, each would glance back towards the other.</p><p>She wasn't sure if it was to reassure themselves of their presence, or to check on them. She suspected a little of both. She was more impressed- and a little exasperated- that both were shaken, upset and raw and yet their priority was their students and the school.</p><p>A hand touched her arm. "Mum?"</p><p>She patted Philip's shoulder absently, still watching Rachel. "How do we persuade your aunt not to break up with Eddie?"</p><p>She didn't see his jaw hit the ground. "What? But… you wanted them to break up?"</p><p>She hummed. "That was then. This is now."</p><p>Philip gaped at her, wondering if she'd hit her head when he hadn't seen. "I don't think you can persuade her," he said eventually, and she frowned, finally looking at him.</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"Because I think she decided from the moment you walked in this morning. They've both just been putting it off to concentrate on everything else that was going on today."</p><p>Melissa turned back to look at the group, just in time to see Eddie shooting Rachel a desperate, hopeless look. A kick had her rubbing her stomach soothingly, and gave her an idea.</p><p>It was risky, and if Eddie and Rachel ever found out, they would never forgive her. Albeit, she thought grimly, they may never forgive her if she pulled it off. "Phil," she said slowly, "how far would you go for Rachel?"</p><p>He blinked at her owlishly. "Why?"</p><p>"I have a plan. One that will keep them together."</p><p>That sounded like a good thing, but the look on her face suggested otherwise and he swallowed thickly. "I'm not going to like this, am I?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>But Philip knew no matter what his mother suggested, if it meant Rachel would smile again, he was pretty sure he'd agree. That was until he heard her plan, and was downright insulted to be related to someone who had thought of something so cunning. "You can't do that."</p><p>Melissa looked offended, brows furrowed as she took in her son's words. "What do you mean?" She'd actually been quite proud of the story she had created on the spot, thought it was the perfect idea to keep Rachel and Eddie together.</p><p>"Hold on." Philip took another look at his aunt, grateful that she was still busy dismissing students with their parents and explaining the chaos that had taken place with the digger. Ralph was long gone luckily, and he knew it wouldn't be long before the police pulled them all away to take statements anyway. So Philip took the opportunity to sidestep some rubble and move his mother away from the crowds, out of earshot so he could clarify some things. "You want to fake a doctors appointment and pretend like the baby isn't Eddie's? Because you want him to stay with Rach? Even though you turned up to get Eddie back?" He needed some answers to get the idea into his head, because then he could work out if his mother needed mental help as well as advice on how to deal with your own children.</p><p>Melissa shrugged, aware it sounded crazy but not seeing another way. "If I say the dates have changed, the baby isn't old enough to be Eddie's, then there's no reason for them to split up, right?"</p><p>"Until he demands a paternity test." Phillip quipped, knowing that Eddie and Rachel simply wouldn't take Melissa's word for it anymore. He wanted Rachel to be happy, wanted her to get her happy ever after and truthfully, wanted to stay with her whilst she got that. Since seeing his mum, who hadn't once asked how he'd been, it just made his heart ache even more when he realised he'd probably have to move out of Rachel's place again. Unless she still wanted him around of course.</p><p>Melissa rolled her eyes, annoyed that Philip wasn't just accepting the plan. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. In all fairness Phil, I drank a lot when I left and woke up in different beds a few times." She didn't catch the look of disgust on Philip's face, didn't realise this was definitely not a conversation you were supposed to have with your teenage son. "So are you on board?"</p><p>"On board with what?"</p><p>Before Philip could reply, they were both turned to the attention of Eddie who had found them in their hiding spot; looking more worn out that Philip had ever seen him look.</p><p>"Moving back in with me," Melissa lied smoothly, not noticing the sudden choking noise from her son. "As soon as I've had a talk with the landlord of course."</p><p>"Mum, you disappeared and stopped paying rent," Phillip said impatiently. "He let Rachel take me in to clear out my room and then re-let the place."</p><p>She looked startled. "Oh…"</p><p>"Does Phil even want to move back in with you?" Eddie asked.</p><p>"Of course he does, I'm his mum."</p><p>"Who abandoned him without a word for months on end."</p><p>Melissa looked hurt at his harsh tone, but he was unapologetic, looking over at Philip. "Do me a favour- break it to Rachel as gently as you can. I think she's going through enough already."</p><p>Phil's jaw dropped, but Eddie was already stomping away. "I never said I was moving," he grumbled, and Melissa looked stricken.</p><p>"You don't want to come home?"</p><p>"Didn't say that either."</p><p>Her eyes filled with tears, and she looked at him with a wounded expression. "I'm your mum! You barely know Rachel- don't get me wrong, she's my sister but she's prissy and boring and… well, a fun-killer. Why would you prefer her over me?"</p><p>Philip didn't answer, staring at something over her shoulder. Melissa turned to follow her gaze, and felt her stomach drop when she saw Rachel standing there. Close enough to have heard everything she just said.</p><p>"Rach…"</p><p>Rachel merely turned and walked away, back into a group of kids who immediately swarmed around her and enfolded her into their mix. Philip just sighed in disbelief. "Well done."</p><p>If it weren't for Rachel's strict morals and the sheer fact that she'd never hit a pregnant woman, her hand would firmly be in contact with Melissa's cheek. But hearing her words, the obvious dislike she had for her own sister, set something off inside of Rachel. For all the love she felt for her as her family, it was clear that wasn't reciprocated. And she was willing to sacrifice her own happiness for that of Melissa's, willing to lose everything and take a step away from the only source of happiness left in her life if it meant that Melissa would win. She hugged all the students that huddled around her, taking comfort in the fact that they still needed her. But they weren't the only ones, and her eyes caught sight of Eddie once more as he watched her from afar as if not knowing her boundaries. Melissa's words rang in her ears repeatedly like a mantra, and she decided to stop the voices once and for all. With a determined spring in her step, she found herself stood in front of Eddie with a suspicious lack of students around them. "We need to talk." She cursed herself for sounding so harsh, her face immediately falling when she caught sight of Eddie on her verge of tears.</p><p>He didn't want to cry, but worried that he was entering into the conversation that was about to end his relationship for good. He had a feeling this was coming ever since he boarded the coach to the competition, but was desperate for it not to be over. "I know, let's go somewhere Rach. Just me and you." No added stress, no input from Melissa or anyone else. It was Rachel he was worried about, Rachel he wanted to make sure was okay.</p><p>"What about.." She cast a glance over to her sister, who still hadn't moved and kept sneaking glances at the pair of them.</p><p>"I'll tell Melissa we will call her tomorrow."</p><p>Rachel didn't miss the way Eddie still referred to them both as a team, and she would be lying if that didn't warm her heart. She couldn't speak for fear of crying, so simply nodded in agreement and watched as Eddie walked back over to her sister and nephew. She only hoped Philip knew she wasn't angry or upset with him in any way. But there would be time for her to convey those feelings, when the sheer sight of Melissa didn't hurt like a knife to the gut every time.</p><p>Eddie didn't wait any longer, and took Rachel's nod as his okay to march over to the woman who had singlehandedly ruined his life in a matter of seconds. "I'm going to talk things through with Rachel, and hope to god she still wants something to do with me after your little stunt." He knew he shouldn't resent the baby, especially as it was his responsibility too. But he wasn't ready to think about his impending second attempt at fatherhood just yet, too set on working on his relationship and would then allow his mind to focus on the fact that a child would soon be added to the equation.</p><p>Melissa tried not to let the words stab at her heart, hoped she didn't flinch at his tone as she shrugged her shoulders. "That's fine, I've got a doctors appointment tomorrow anyway. With any luck, this baby won't be yours."</p><p>Eddie froze, slowly turning back around to face her. "What."</p><p>Either she didn't notice his harsh tone, or she didn't pay attention to it. Either way, she shrugged airily. "It would certainly make your lives easier, wouldn't it?"</p><p>For a long moment, he could only stare at her. "You selfish cow," he said lowly, and she had the gall to look startled. "You come in here, pull your little stunt, and it might not even be mine? And you didn't think to mention this before?"</p><p>He'd stepped closer, voice growing louder as he loomed over her. Philip knew Eddie was a good man, was fairly certain he'd never hit a woman, especially a pregnant one but he couldn't deny he was a little concerned, and cast a frantic glance in Rachel's direction for help. To his relief, she'd apparently spotted what was happening and was quickly walking towards them with a small frown. Melissa had stepped back from Eddie, a hand immediately moving to her bump. "You must have known I wasn't a saint, Eddie…"</p><p>"No," he snorted harshly. "Just a slut who jumped straight into bed with anyone who would have her."</p><p>Her jaw dropped. "Hey!"</p><p>"Am I wrong? Or maybe I am, maybe there were no beds involved. Would that be up your alley? Pun intended."</p><p>"Eddie!" It was Rachel's voice that brought him up short, caused him to bite his tongue to stop the cruel spiel he longed to let loose. "What is going on?"</p><p>Eddie's eyes never met Melissa. "Are you going to tell her or shall I?"</p><p>When Melissa didn't say anything, Rachel looked between them. "Tell me what?"</p><p>Eddie gave her another few beats. But she still didn't say a word, glancing between him and Rachel with an indescribable expression on her face. "It might not be mine," he said lowly, and didn't have to turn around to know the expression that would be on her face.</p><p>"Excuse me?"</p><p>"Your slut of a sister slept with someone else. Did you actually cheat on me, Mel, or was it afterwards?"</p><p>Melissa flinched. She'd known they would be angry, the both of them, but apparently she had underestimated the extent. "Of course I didn't cheat," she defended.</p><p>Rachel felt like, for the umpteenth time that day, the floor had fallen out from underneath her. She could barely look at her little sister, emotions rolling her stomach. "How many?"</p><p>"Sorry?"</p><p>"How many… possible fathers are there?"</p><p>Melissa shifted uncomfortably. "I… don't know."</p><p>Now, she had three sets of eyes staring at her incredulously. "How can you not know?" Rachel asked disbelievingly. "Surely you know how many people you were with within a certain time frame?"</p><p>"It's not like I knew this was going to happen!" she said defensively. "I didn't keep a list! And I was very, very drunk."</p><p>Eddie scoffed disbelievingly. Rachel felt like doing the same. "So what are the chances?" she asked impatiently. "That Eddie is the father?"</p><p>Melissa shrugged. This was more work than she'd thought it would be.</p><p>"For God's sake Mel, you already have a child, you must know how it works!"</p><p>"I was semi-permanently off my face!" she exclaimed. "Not to mention I'd been very busy! I wasn't exactly keeping careful track of my cycles."</p><p>"For the love of…" Rachel covered her face with her hands, turned away. "I can't do this."</p><p>Melissa watched silently as she stalked away, round the corner of the building, away from prying eyes. "Where's she going?"</p><p>Eddie merely shot her a disgusted look, and hurried after her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It didn't take him long to find her, huddled on the floor in a heap with her head in her hands and hiding behind the digger. She was crying, her shoulders shaking with sobs as she rocked backwards and forwards. Eddie quickly joined her on the floor, grateful that she didn't jump away from him when he gathered her against him and let her cry onto his shoulder. There was a long silence before she finally lifted her head, her eyes red and cheeks wet with tears. "Why does she hate me so much?" She asked, her voice breaking with every word she spoke. She didn't have to continue as Eddie knew exactly what she meant, but he had a feeling she wasn't finished speaking so let her finish. "What have I done to deserve this from her? She would have let you believe a baby was yours, just to get at me so she could keep you for herself?" Her voice was still laced with uncertainty, and it broke Eddie further to hear it. He longed to interrupt her and fill her head with his words of reassurance, but wanted her to let out all of the frustration and heartbreak she was feeling as she mourned the loss of her relationship with her sister. There wasn't much left of it since she left Philip in her care, but now there was no chance of that ever returning. "She knows how much I love you, she knew it before she even came her. She was happy to be with you, even happier to come back and take you away from me when I finally had you. Am I that awful?" Finally, she did look at Eddie for some reassurance, and he knew this was his chance to make sure she knew how he felt.</p><p>"Of course you're not." He pacified, knowing those words were pretty pointless coming from him. But he knew they wouldn't be hearing them from Melissa anytime soon, so he was trying his best. "I wish I could make sense of her actions, only I'm struggling myself. I'm so angry with her. But Rach, it doesn't matter." He turned her to face him then, making sure she was looking at him head on to note the sincerity in his eyes.</p><p>"Of course it does." She protested, her mind imagining all the different outcomes from such an awful situation and unfortunately, none of them worked in her favour.</p><p>It was as if Eddie had an insight into her brain, could see all the cogs turning as she scrambled for answers. "No, it doesn't. I love you, I meant it when I said you're my first priority. As long as you're okay, as long as we're okay, everything else can fall into place."</p><p>"I can't Eddie, not with a baby and.."</p><p>"A baby that may not be mine." He interrupted, not wanting her to forget that important detail of the rapidly developing situation. He felt cruel for being so neutral towards it, but it was hard to have any feelings when the paternity was still up in the air. If the baby was his, he'd love it in the same way he loved Michael. He would never turn his back on any child of his, no matter how many times he through the possibility into the open in his desperate times of trying to keep Rachel with him. But he knew it would be easier if it wasn't his, knew Rachel would find less reason to run without that hanging over their heads.</p><p>"But if it is.."</p><p>"Why does it matter?" He really should stop interrupting her, but felt he had too much to say. This was his lifeline, his one chance to make sure he kept Rachel close and in his life as his partner. "If the baby is or isn't mine, I'll still be in love with you. You love Michael.." He sensed her start to interrupt, to cut him off and explain how different it was because it was Melissa, but he stopped her with a shake to his head. "I know it's different, but can you really say you'll have a good relationship with your sister after this, ever?"</p><p>His question stopped her in her tracks, made her think of things she wasn't even considering before. Eddie was right, even if she walked away and had no more to do with him, she'd never be able to forgive Melissa for what she'd done. So she could only shake her head as a response.</p><p>"So we'll be together, with or without the addition of a baby. It's a mess, but when is anything you want ever easy? All I know is I can't quite face the prospect of waking up every day without you next to me. How about it?"</p><p>Rachel closed her eyes briefly, a fresh wave of tears threatening. "It would be so complicated."</p><p>"We can do complicated," he said gently. "This would hardly be the only complicated thing about our lives."</p><p>"And how will it look?" she questioned, meeting his gaze. "When this kid is ten or twelve and starts asking questions. Daddy got together with Aunt Rachel while Mummy was pregnant with you. Your younger siblings are also your cousins. Hell Eddie, would you even want more children?"</p><p>"With you," he said instantly. At least she was thinking about the future, hadn't shut the thought down already. She looked startled at his admission, as if she hadn't thought through what asking the question would mean.</p><p>"Eddie…"</p><p>He could hear her tone of voice, and immediately shook his head. "No, no Rachel. Don't."</p><p>She tried to stifle a sob. "It's like something out of a bad soap opera. What would everyone say?"</p><p>"Who cares about everyone?" he said desperately. "I love you, Rachel, what we have is worth fighting for."</p><p>"You keep saying that like it's going to change something!" she cried. "It isn't! It doesn't change the fact that my sister might be carrying your baby!"</p><p>He instantly deflated. "I know. I can't change that."</p><p>"Why couldn't you have been more careful?" she hissed, hitting out at him. Her fist connected with his shoulder but there was almost no weight behind it. "Why did you have to… why her?"</p><p>She lashed out again, but this time he caught hold of her arm and used it to pull her in closer, resting his forehead on hers. "I'm sorry. I really am. I would go back and knock some sense into myself if I could."</p><p>Tears pricked at her eyes as she clutched at him. "This will never work, Eddie. She would never let us be happy. She'd use the baby against you, against us. Everyone would end up resenting each other... you would end up resenting me. And that would break me even more than losing you will."</p><p>"Rachel-,"</p><p>She pulled away, surging to her feet and wiping her eyes. "We need to get the kids off home, make sure everyone's accounted for."</p><p>"Rachel-,"</p><p>But she was already walking away, and by the time he'd scrambled to his feet and caught to her, she was already ensconced in the middle of the kids as she tried to corral them into their form groups. Melissa was stood where they'd left her, a curious look on her face as she glanced between them and obviously tried to decipher what was going on. Eddie turned away, unable to even stomach the sight of her.</p><p>So maybe her master plan hasn't worked, maybe she really had taken it too far this time by returning and ruining the set up they had going for them. She was at a loss, and turned to Philip for help.</p><p>He noticed his mum turn to him, and hit her with a shake of his head before she could even speak. "No." He didn't know what she was planning next, or what she wanted him to do, but he didn't want to have any part in it. He saw his aunt's face, saw the heartbreak behind Eddie's eyes too and was downright disgusted with his mum for everything she had done.</p><p>"What?" Melissa blinked at him, hadn't even had chance to speak yet. She didn't have a plan, per say. But she knew Philip had a much higher chance of even getting close to the two of them. She had a feeling she had officially burned all bridges with both Eddie and her sister now and even if this baby did turn out to be Eddie's, it was going to be a long and winding road to get anywhere close to being civil co-parents.</p><p>"Whatever you have planned, I'm not doing it." Philip felt like stamping his feet and shaking his head like a toddler, but was also well aware that he was far more mature than his mother ever could be despite his young age and him throwing a tantrum like a toddler would get them nowhere. However, one look towards Eddie had him changing his mind. The man looked on the verge of a breakdown, his eyes filled with unshed tears as he watched Rachel from afar. It was clear he didn't know what to do, didn't know if to approach her or leave her be. The sight alone made Philip want to cry, he'd witnessed first hand just how happy they'd both been the past weeks with one another and he was furious that it was his own mother who had come along and ruined it. So he turned back to face her. "Right, you need to go." His words left no room for argument, practically an order towards her.</p><p>"Excuse me?" Melissa blinked at her son in shock, not used to being told what to do by him especially.</p><p>Philip rolled his eyes, unaware just how naive she could be. "You need to go back to where you've been, so I can try and sort this." He caught another longing look that Rachel sent to Eddie and knew he was making the right decision, even if it was going to hurt his mum. After all, this was her mess anyway. "I'll text you tomorrow or something but nothing can be done if you're still here. I'm going to speak to Eddie and stay home tonight with Rachel, hopefully we can sort it." He didn't miss the way his mum flinched when he referred to Rachel's house as home, but what did she expect? She'd upped and left, leaving them all no choice but to adapt and work together. He'd loved living with Rachel, loved having somebody actually care about his bedtime or if he needed help with his homework. Eddie had been there most of the time too, and they really were starting to feel like a family. Eddie had recruited Philip's help to plan a holiday for Rachel, making sure Philip would be safe alone for a few days and had friends houses to go to so he didn't get lonely. If Phil could make sure they both still got to go away together, there was a chance this could be fixed. "Just go mum, I'll talk to you later." He didn't stop to hear her reply, practically ordered her away before marching over to Eddie and standing next to him. This wasn't Philip, he was awkward enough without having to deal with relationship problems. He'd shown too often that he had no experience with that, that he wasn't ready to deal with anything of the sort yet here he was; trying to fix one that was on the verge of collapsing. "What are we going to do Eddie? You can't let her go."</p><p>Eddie managed a sad half-smile for the boy, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I can't force her into anything either, Phil. This would be so difficult for her, whatever the outcome. And she's been through enough."</p><p>"She loves you. You love her!"</p><p>Eddie swallowed thickly. "That's not always enough."</p><p>Philip scowled. It should be, he thought. Eddie made Rachel smile like he'd never seen before, that should be enough, baby or no. "Do you really think the baby is yours?"</p><p>"I don't know," he said truthfully. "When she turned up, I had no doubt. But now…"</p><p>"All that stuff she said about other guys."</p><p>Eddie stared off into the distance. "I wouldn't put it past her to have come back to me because she knew I'd take responsibility, even if she knew it wasn't mine. Equally…"</p><p>"It could actually be yours," he finished, and Eddie nodded.</p><p>"No way of knowing until after."</p><p>Philip followed his gaze, and wasn't surprised to see he was looking at Rachel, who was hugging Sam Kelly and talking quietly to her. She was a good teacher, and he'd certainly experienced enough of them to know. "Don't give up," he said suddenly. Eddie shot him a puzzled look. "You two are… well, gross, but better than you and mum. I know that sounds bad."</p><p>Eddie was confused. "Not bad, but certainly odd. Why better?"</p><p>"You and mum were… full on," he shrugged. "Zero to a hundred in no time at all, always all over each other. Totally mank. But you and Rach, you talk, it's not like you're trying to show off all the time. I don't know, it's just different."</p><p>He wasn't wrong, Eddie though, and guilt settled in his stomach. He had tried to show off his relationship with Melissa, once it was out in the open. Trying to prove how happy and in love they were, to themselves, to everyone else… to Rachel. She'd made no secret that she wanted him and it had been a nice feeling, not to be the one making all the moves, skirting around what he really wanted to say, pretending things hadn't happened when they had. Melissa was fun and flirty and he'd fallen for it hook, line and sinker. He thought he'd been given a second chance with Rachel. Now it seemed like a cruel idea for a joke, dangling a taste of what they could have had in front of them only to tear it away.</p><p>The thought settled onto his chest and made it almost impossible to breathe.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Philip watched the pained expression on Eddie's face and almost regretting saying anything, but knew they needed to speak about it. "Is there any way she'd still go away with you?" He knew the holiday was planned, booked and paid for and would now be the perfect opportunity to get them both away from the dramas of staying in Rochdale and focus on themselves.</p><p>Eddie simply shrugged, not having the answers for Philip and not wanting to speak with fear of breaking down and crying. He felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest, his chance of true happiness taken away from him so cruelly. He'd wanted Rachel almost as soon as he met her, had fell head over heels in love with her not long afterwards. Even hearing of her past made him want to protect her after the initial shock wore off. They'd been through too much to give up now, he just wished she felt the same way he did.</p><p>"If I go with mum tomorrow, I can tell you what the doctors say? Then you don't have to see her and you'll know." Even as Philip said it, he knew what he was going to do. He was going to agree with his mums plan, to tell Eddie and Rachel that the dates made it impossible for the baby to be his. After hearing what his mum said to say it was more than likely that she had gotten pregnant after a messy drunken night, and he didn't want the couple to hurt anymore than they already had.</p><p>Eddie nodded, noticing the groups of students finally leaving along with their parents and the staff heading off, no doubt to the pub. There was no way he'd be joining them tonight, but it finally left Rachel standing alone again and with no more distractions. As he made his way over towards her, he was stopped by police officers who informed him that they'd he needed at the station tomorrow for witness statements. He agreed blindly, Ralph Mellor being the least of his worries right now as he was facing an even bigger worry of having to live his life without Rachel in it. He wouldn't be able to stay here if they broke up, wouldn't be able to see her face every day and not be the reason she was smiling. Not now he knew just how good they were together, just how happy they both could be. He reached her and she turned to him in question, having seen him speak to her officers and figured he'd come to fill her in. Only he didn't, the thoughts of witness statements and police stations far from his mind as he placed a soft hand on her arm. "Come away with me." He whispered, keeping his voice soft as if not to break the spell of her actually allowing him to be this close to her.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"The holiday, it's all booked. We were so excited, Rachel please. Come away with me."</p><p>Rachel shook her head, moving frantically but not stepping away from him either. "Eddie, we can't.. I can't."</p><p>"We've faced Stuart Hordley, a fire, a gun, Ralph Mellor, a bloody digger. We can do this Rachel, please don't give up on us. I can't let you go."</p><p>She closed her eyes against the tears that threatened, lump immediately growing in her throat. "We can't…"</p><p>"Be selfish for once," he pleaded. "For once in your life Rachel, follow your heart and do what you want to do. Please…"</p><p>Instead of answering, she turned and wrapped her arms around him. It took him a split second to respond, so unexpected the action, but once he had he wasted no time in embracing her tightly, squeezing his eyes closed as he tried to savour every sensation of having her in his arms. On top of everything else that was going on, he still hadn't quite gotten over the shock of seeing her stood in front of that JCB, and wasn't about to complain about the ability to remind himself she was alive and well in front of him.</p><p>"Yes…"</p><p>Eddie blinked, not sure he'd even heard the breathed word properly. "What?"</p><p>"Yes," she repeated quietly, looking over his shoulder at the rubble and remains of the school. "I'll come with you."</p><p>He let out a shudder, pure relief and elation running through him as he held her even tighter. The position meant that he couldn't see that there was no smile on her face, no anticipation or joy. But she stayed where she was, unable to give up the comfort he provided even as part of her screamed about how wrong it was.</p><p>Philip watched the pair cling to each other, and it only cemented his decision. Rachel needed Eddie and Eddie needed Rachel, it was as simple as that. He pulled out his phone, dialled the number and was relieved when his mother picked up almost immediately.</p><p>"Phil?"</p><p>"I'm going to tell them the doctor said it's impossible for Eddie to be the father," he said without preamble. "And you're going to disappear."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Resolution settled in stomach. "You're going to disappear," he repeated. "Just like you did these past few months. You're going to go away, only this time, you're not going to come back. Rachel and Eddie are never going to see that baby, never going to be able to question it's parentage and if the dates are wrong, you're going to lie to them about far along you were."</p><p>Melissa was silent for a long moment. "And what about you?"</p><p>He snorted. "Since when have you cared?" He hung up, slid his phone in his pocket. Eddie and Rachel still hadn't moved apart, and it only confirmed for him that this was the right decision, however wrong it felt.</p><p>He let them have a few more moments together before moving towards them and letting his presence be known. He saw the look of shock on Rachel's face, which she soon replaced with a soft smile that she seemed to reserve only for him.</p><p>"What are you still doing here love?" She didn't move far away from Eddie, but pulled back so they could both turn to face Philip. She was shocked to see him still there, assumed he'd gone with his mum when she did her next disappearing act.</p><p>Philip went to reply, spurred on by Eddie's warm smile which confirmed he was doing the right thing. "I'm waiting for you two to put each other down so we can go home?" He commented, an air of breeze to his words in an attempt to claw back some normality from the day. It had been turned on it's head multiple times and there's no doubt that their lives had changed once again, but the little boy part of Philip longed to bury his head in the sand and pretend like it hadn't happened. If there was any way he would be able to get things back to how they were, he'd try his very hardest, and he assumed Eddie would he helping him do that.</p><p>Rachel blinked a few times as she repeated his words in her head. Home, home, home. Philip wanted to go home, with her and Eddie. Philip had seen his mum and had chosen to stay with her anyway. Nobody had ever chosen her, or put her in first position, ever in her life. Yet on the same day both Eddie and Philip had chosen to stay with her. They both could have turned and walked away with Melissa, it was probably the easiest option. Eddie could have gotten a new job and lived with Melissa, Philip and the baby. But yet they both stood in front of her now, wide eyed and waiting for her to make the next move. Suddenly a huge smile broke out of her face, and she opened the arm that wasn't wrapped around Eddie to Philip. He came towards her in an out of character display of affection, but it had been a difficult day for them all. "Yeah, let's go home." She caught Eddie's eye as she said it, feeling suddenly overcome with emotion. She was sure that this wasn't the end of their battles, they still had to face Melissa's scan results tomorrow as well as the logistics of if Philip would be able to keep on staying with her. But for now, for this evening, they all deserved to go back to the one place they all wanted to be. To order a pizza, put on a film and talk through all the important things they needed to discuss when morning came.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Rachel?"</p><p>Philip hovered nervously at his aunt's bedroom door. He had never been in- it had always seemed too personal, too invasive for him to step inside. On the whole, she mostly returned the favour, entering his room only on rare occasions to shake him awake or check on him before she retired for the night. Today, however, everything had changed, which had led to him bouncing anxiously on his toes at the threshold of her door.</p><p>He could see her sat on the end of her bed, slumped over slightly, her face hidden from his view. At the sound of his voice, however, she straightened and plastered on a smile. "Yes love?"</p><p>He took that as permission, coming forward a few steps. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"Of course." She didn't even hesitate. Philip wasn't fooled.</p><p>"Really."</p><p>She dropped her gaze, blowing out a breath while he tentatively perched next to her. "Maybe not," she admitted. "But that's my issue, not yours. Did you want something?"</p><p>"Did… did you mean what you said earlier? About my room being mine?"</p><p>She nodded. "Of course. Why?"</p><p>"I just… I know she's my mum and everything, but…" he stumbled over his words, didn't dare glance up at her expression. "She probably won't have a stable place for a while. And she might not even stay in Rochdale, I don't want to have to go to a different school. And it kind of seems more sensible that… well… if…"</p><p>"Philip," she interrupted gently. "You're welcome here for as long as you want."</p><p>He sagged. "Really?"</p><p>"Yes. In other circumstances, I probably would have insisted you go with your mother, since she is your parent. But after today…" she trailed off, jaw tensing slightly.</p><p>"Could she stop me?" he asked quietly. "Staying, I mean?"</p><p>She shook her head. "You're sixteen. Legally, you can choose where you want to live."</p><p>He eyed her for a moment. Even while trying to be strong, and hide her feelings from him, she had a vaguely defeated air about her. She should be insisting he leave, he thought. He hadn't exactly been the easiest of houseguests, or of relatives- the brownies alone should have had her shipping him off somewhere else, and yet here she was, offering to let him stay longer. While his mother hadn't even considered where he was going to go until someone else had. Hadn't considered him at all, really.</p><p>Just like that, he made a decision. "Then I choose you."</p><p>She looked startled, before a genuine, pleased expression crept over her face. "I'm glad," she murmured, touching the backs of her fingers to his cheek for a moment. He grinned back, and pretended not to notice that her eyes were suspiciously wet.</p><p>Eddie had stayed back as the two had their conversation, knowing they needed their privacy and to talk about their family issues without his involvement. It wasn't until Philip left the room with the promise to phone for a takeaway that Eddie entered, taking the place Philip had left and pulling Rachel to him as he noticed her shoulders shake. She'd clearly waited for him to leave before really allowing her emotions to run, and was now openly crying as she sat on the edge of the bed. He held her as she sobbed into his shoulder, rubbing soothing circles on her back as he let her cry. This wasn't like her, she usually kept her emotions in check no matter what she was faced with. But Eddie knew differently, he knew just how emotional she really was and how she simply didn't show that side of her to anyone. He was lucky that she left him in, allowed him to see her so vulnerable and open. When she began to pull back her emotions, he softly pulled away and lifted her head to face him by lifting her chin with his thumb and offering her a small smile. He kissed away the tears still making tracks down her cheeks before pressing his forehead against hers.</p><p>"I choose you as well, you know?" He murmured softly, not wanting to break the intimate spell they'd found themselves in as they huddled together.</p><p>Rachel smiled even softer, pain flashing beneath her eyes as she shook her head. "It's not that easy." She whispered, her voice breaking as she had to once again deny Eddie. She wished she could just accept what he was saying, to go along with his fairytale and remain oblivious to every other thing that was happening. Only it wasn't that easy, and unfortunately somebody needed to remain level headed and that task had fallen into her lap.</p><p>Eddie was having none of it, sneaking another quick kiss to Rachel's lips whilst he still could before pulling back and looking at her with a determined look across his face. "Yes, it is actually." He challenged, knowing she'd argue but not stopping long enough for her to cut him off. "It is as easy as that, because I love you. And I'm not going anywhere." He knew her greatest fears, knew how differently she expected things to go when Melissa turned up. Rachel figured both Eddie and Philip would leave with her, and she'd be left alone once more. "Unless you seriously tell me to leave because you don't love me and don't see us having a future together, then I'm staying Rachel. There will never be anything romantic with Melissa, ever. If that's my baby? We do it through the courts, and we handle it just the same we do with Michael."</p><p>"But what-"</p><p>"No, no. There's no buts." Eddie interrupted, not letting Rachel run through her thousands of scenarios that he was sure she'd been thinking of since the moment Melissa walked into her office. "There's me, there's you, and there's Philip. We're a family, with Michael. I want to be here with you Rachel, I choose you."</p><p>Her heart physically ached. Despite his pretty words, she knew she would never be able to be with him while he raised a baby with her sister. She simply wasn't strong enough for that, and despite what some TV soaps showed, she knew it wouldn't exactly be easy. But Eddie was right about one thing- maybe it was time she was selfish. The baby wasn't here yet, and maybe she could have him until it was. After all, she'd spent months pretending not to love him- she could spend a few weeks pretending everything was okay. Go on holiday, enjoy their summer together and if the baby did turn out to be his… well, there were a lot of people who would be more than happy to see her leave Waterloo Road.</p><p>She rested her head on his shoulder, not replying to him verbally as she closed her eyes, the events of the day making her very bones ache with tiredness. She longed for nothing more than to curl up and sleep, hopefully waking to find this had been nothing more than a horrible nightmare. But Phil needed her presence tonight, Eddie was… unbelievably complicated, and she probably should eat something for the first time since breakfast, even if her stomach rebelled at the thought.</p><p>Dinner was awkward, even as they all tried to pretend it wasn't. Eddie made bad jokes, Philip desperately filled the silences and Rachel had a fake smile plastered to her face that wasn't even fooling her, let alone them. When, after they'd finished eating, Philip announced he was tired and going to bed despite the relatively early hour, she couldn't blame him one bit even as a tiny, selfish part of her wanted to invent an excuse for him to stay. But she wouldn't do that to him, and eventually she couldn't drag out cleaning up any longer, and found Eddie waiting patiently for her.</p><p>There wasn't a hint of accusation or irritation in his gaze, despite the fact she knew he must have been fully aware that she was delaying being alone with him. It only made her feel worse. "Do you want a drink?" she asked quickly, and when he nodded, she hurried back to kitchen, grabbing a beer for him and the bottle of wine for her. She filled her glass, but paused, looking at it for a long moment.</p><p>Who was she kidding. She downed it, refilled the glass and stowed the bottle away, returning to the living room and handing Eddie his bottle without a word. He accepted it with a murmured thanks, and as she looked at him, she was more and more sure of her decision. Yes. She could handle a few weeks.</p><p>But Eddie knew her better than that, knew she was hiding something as her smile didn't reach her eyes. She still wasn't happy. Despite everything that had been said, she wasn't happy and Eddie wasn't sure what she was planning, but he knew he wouldn't end up liking it in the long run. "Rach, talk to me." He took a large gulp of his drink, letting the alcohol almost burn his throat as he willed her to talk to him. "And not the fake smiles and silence you've been giving me all day. I need to know if you want out. If you do, I'll go now." It would be easier for him, he thought selfishly. If she was having doubts then he needed to know now. He needed to leave before it hurt even more weeks down the line. He knew Rachel had been more quiet than normal, but hadn't truly noticed until she left the room to collect the drinks. As soon as she thought he couldn't see the look on her face, her facade dropped and she looked utterly miserable. He needed to know if he was the cause for that or if there was a way that could change.</p><p>Rachel knew she'd been rumbled, knew her plan for just a few more weeks couldn't happen now. She clearly wasn't as good as pretending as she thought she was, and now was having to come clean. Only she had no idea what to say, couldn't work out the next steps for herself; never mind with Eddie in tow. Her heart ached when she looked at him, wishing she was able to see past the events of the day and just give in to being with him. But she knew he was right, it wasn't fair to keep him hanging on.</p><p>Eddie watched the cogs turn in her head, watched her struggle to find the right words and took that as his answer. "I'm going to go." He stood to leave, part of him hoping that she'd call him back and tell him off for being too rash.</p><p>But her argument was barely that, her voice soft as she finally found her voice. "No Eddie, I didn't mean that."</p><p>"You didn't say it, but you do mean it. You need time, I can respect that." He stood awkwardly in the doorway, aching to run away to the safety of his flat and cry like he hadn't cried in years. So close, they were so close to having it all.</p><p>"But.."</p><p>"It's fine darling, I'll go. Tomorrow we'll know if the dates add up or not. Even then, I won't ring you." His voice wavered, his words catching in his throat as he tried his hardest not to let her see his tears. "Take some time, let the dust settle. Then we'll know what to do.. you'll know what to do." Eddie quickly corrected. He didn't need time, didn't need to work anything out. But he knew Rachel did, and loved her enough to respect that. He hoped he was doing the right thing, hoped giving her time would bring her back to him instead of having the complete opposite effect.</p><p>"The holiday-"</p><p>"Can be rearranged." He added as he stood still, rooted to the spot and trying his hardest not to break down in front of her and beg her to ask him to stay. She wasn't going to, she needed this time. Eddie had done this to himself after all, by taking the easy option and falling into a relationship with Melissa. "I love you Rachel."</p><p>It felt like a goodbye. Why did it feel like a goodbye? Rachel was too broken to even move, simply looked up at him with tears in her eyes as she replied. "Oh Eddie, I love you too." She only hoped that would be enough for them both.</p><p>Eddie couldn't stop himself from leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead, closing his eyes as he kept his lips there for a long moment. "It's not goodbye, not forever," he whispered, which didn't help in the slightest. Rachel's tears spilled down her cheeks, and he gave her a single, sad smile before he left. She listened to him pull his shoes on, the front door opening and then closing softly behind him. And her throat clogged, hand flying to her mouth to muffle a sob at the final sound.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She didn't even register flying to her feet and out the house, didn't even realise what she'd done until her bare feet were meeting the paving stones, ignoring the chill from them. "Eddie!"</p><p>He turned in confusion, just in time to catch her as she crashed into him. She kissed him, over and over, aware that her touches were filled with desperation but unable to stop herself. He returned every one, just as frantic as he pulled her as close to him as was physically possible.</p><p>She tugged him back towards the house, the pair staying wrapped up in each other as they tripped and stumbled back up the drive, into the hallway where Rachel barely had the presence of mind to close the door behind them, shutting the world out. She guided Eddie towards the stairs, tugging at his coat and dropping it to the floor.</p><p>It didn't escape his notice that she had a definite destination in mind, and it took all his strength to pull his mouth back from her, causing her to arch into him with a sound of discontent. "Rachel…"</p><p>"Don't." A hand on his neck guided his mouth back to hers, robbing him of the coherency needed to protest. It wasn't until they were safely sequestered away in her bedroom that they parted again, this time so Eddie could pull his top over his head. He caught Rachel as she moved towards him again.</p><p>"Are you sure?"</p><p>"Stop talking."</p><p>She reached for him again, but he caught her hands firmly. "Rachel."</p><p>"Stop thinking," she commanded, a touch desperately. "Just… let us have this."</p><p>It was a mistake. They both knew it, even as they came together again. Rachel would feel rotten about it, and so would he, and they'd both feel awful because they'd made the other feel bad and it would be a mess, making an already terrible situation even worse.</p><p>Neither of them stopped.</p><p>He was awake before her, woke to her still resting on his chest and her breathing even. He didn't want to move, wanted to stay in this moment and feeling this content for as long as he possibly could. Only half of him wanted to sneak away, to get out now before she woke and told him how last night shouldn't have happened. He thought he'd been doing the right thing by leaving, really had the best intentions as he'd walked away. But he'd never been able to deny her of anything, wouldn't want to say no when her lips were pressed against his. He didn't know what was for the best, no idea how to handle such a situation that seemed to be a ticking time bomb. He couldn't work out what Rachel wanted, couldn't seem to do right from wrong no matter how hard he tried.</p><p>"Eddie. Stop thinking." Rachel commented from where she rested against him, her breath tickling his chin as she spoke against him softly. "You're thinking too loud and I'm trying to sleep."</p><p>Her voice shocked him, and he found himself frozen in a trance and not wanting to break the spell they clearly had around them by speaking. Only he knew he had to, knew it would only be worse if he granted her wishes and simply ignored it all in favour of more sleep. "Rach, I think I should go."</p><p>"Didn't I say to stop thinking?"</p><p>"I don't want to mess this up, I don't want you to hate me." His voice was uncharacteristically small, timid in the way he replied to her as if scared of what she could say next.</p><p>Rachel felt like she held both their lives and happiness in her hands. He was giving her so much room, so much opportunity to tell him what it was she wanted. "I couldn't ever hate you." What she really wanted was more sleep, and even though it didn't seem like she'd been getting anymore any time soon, she wasn't ready yet to give in and start the day.</p><p>"What if you do though? That would hurt more."</p><p>"Just.. stay here until Phil hears from his mum." Rachel couldn't even bring herself to say her name, never mind call the woman her sister. "Then at least we'll know our next steps."</p><p>Eddie hated to be the one to burst the bubble, wished he could simply close his eyes and fall back to sleep with his arms around the woman he loved. But it wasn't as simple as that, and he really only was thinking of her as he continued. "What's happens then sweetheart? The baby's mine and I have to leave? That's not fair on me, and it's not fair on you either." He knew he was probably being harsher than he needed to be, but Rachel was still boneless against him and had yet to open her eyes. Only the change in her breathing and the fact that she was replying to him showed Eddie that she was actually awake.</p><p>"Then we work out what to do together." Rachel finally admitted to herself that she probably wasn't getting anymore sleep, and pulled herself up from her comfortable position. She peeled one eye open to look at him before continuing. "If it's yours, we'll deal. Me, you, Philip and Michael will just have to work out a new normal."</p><p>"You mean that? You're not just tired or delirious from the good sex?"</p><p>Rachel pushed against his side, letting out a squark of protest at his words before resting against his shoulder. "Don't push your luck mister."</p><p>"Rach, I mean it. Are you serious?"</p><p>She sighed, and faced him properly. "I can't sit here and promise you anything," she admitted frankly. "I don't know how I'll cope if it is yours, Eddie. I have no idea how we'd manage that, or how to come to terms with it and I won't lie to you and say it'll definitely be okay, because it might not be. I might not be able to deal, I'm not sure I'd want to. But… right now, you walking away is worse."</p><p>It wasn't perfect, he thought, not by a long shot. There was still a very large possibility of everyone involved getting hurt. But it was a chance, a sliver of a chance that he wouldn't lose her and he wasn't about to throw it away. "Okay," he agreed, and saw the relief on her face.</p><p>"Good," she murmured, sliding back down to lie against him. "Because the last thing I can face is the rest of tonight alone."</p><p>Even as he pulled her closer, allowed her to interlace her fingers with his, her words sent a sliver of ice down his spine. Was she only using him for comfort? Was this all about not being alone tonight, in the wake of coming so close to being injured or killed? And in the morning light, when she woke properly and could no longer hide behind touches and sleep, was she going to change her mind?</p><p>The thought filled him with dread, but still he couldn't bring himself to move, to part from her. No matter how slim the chance, how distant and unlikely it was, he couldn't find it in himself to cause her any sort of hurt right now. So he would give her this, he thought, dropping a kiss to the curve of her shoulder.</p><p>"Eddie?"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"We still have hours before we need to get up."</p><p>Her head was tilted back, a smirk playing across her lips and he felt a jolt run straight through him at her words. "That we do," he agreed, and rolled them both so that he was hovering above her. The position meant he was gazing straight at her, trying to read her expression. But if she was deceiving him in any way, he couldn't see it in her grin, or feel it in her touch as her hands slid over the muscles of his back.</p><p>He certainly couldn't tell from the way she kissed him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Phil didn't realise Eddie had ended up staying the night until he saw his jacket thrown onto the floor on the stairs. His cheeks turned pink as he picked it up and hung it where it belonged, glad that he hadn't left at least. He tiptoed the rest of the way to the kitchen, shutting the door behind him as he selected his mums name and pressed his phone to his ear.</p><p>"Ready to grovel back already?"</p><p>He wasn't sure why he was expecting a nice conversation with his mum, but from the bitter tone to her voice he knew he really had burnt his bridges with his own mother. But he didn't have time to think about if he'd made the right decision though, too scared about being heard by Rachel or Eddie and wanting to get this done. "What time is your appointment?"</p><p>He heard her huff, could practically see her roll her eyes if she closed her eyes. "I don't actually have one Philip, this is all a lie remember? Though I'm not sure why I'm bothering now."</p><p>This was what he was worried about, his mother being too bitter about the events that had transpired to go through with the plan that she had suggested. She turned hot and cold quicker than a tap, and something like this just couldn't wait. "Then you need to make one, we all need to know." He had a feeling his mum already knew the answer, she'd been too quick to confirm how much she'd drank and the messes she'd woken up in after she'd left him with Rachel.</p><p>"Why should I?"</p><p>Philip did scoff then, this was definitely expected. "You made this mess, you said you wanted to sort it."</p><p>"That was then, this is now."</p><p>He was scared there would be scuffs in the floor with how hard he was pacing, and turned on the kettle for something else to do. "What's changed?" He asked, scared of the answer but needing to know.</p><p>"She's stolen my son, and my boyfriend, that's what."</p><p>"Tell me mum, do you care more about that fact I'm here, or that Eddie's here?" He already knew the truth, and also knew that she probably wouldn't admit it anyway.</p><p>"So he's there then?" Her reply answered his question, and he felt the tears prick his eyes immediately. To be faced with the truth that his mother loved her relationships more than she'd ever love him was a tough pill to swallow, but he was snapped from his thoughts by the floorboards creaking above his head. His mum may not care, may not give a monkeys about where he'd spent the night, but Rachel did. His Aunt cared for him and wanted him here, loved him enough to make sure she always stocked his favourite cereal and had his homework finished.</p><p>Philip knew he needed to wrap up the call before Rachel or Eddie heard him, and he grabbed two more mugs to pour them both a drink when they eventually made their way downstairs. With any luck, they'd still be able to go on their holiday after he told them the happy news, even if he was having to make it up for now. "I'm going to tell them your appointment is in a few hours, and then I'll tell them there's no chance the baby is Eddie's." He heard her start to interrupt him, and quickly stopped her in her tracks. "I'm doing it mum. If you do anything to stop me, I'll go to the police myself, okay?" He ended the call before he lost his bottle, and not a moment too soon as he was soon greeted with the door swinging open and both Eddie and Rachel standing there. It was probably an empty threat, the chances of him being able to actually go to the police against his mum were slim, but he hoped he got his point across. He looked up as both adults looked at his questionably. "Morning. Cuppa?"</p><p>Rachel exchanged a hesitant look with Eddie. "Thanks, love."</p><p>Phil turned back around, busying himself with the kettle and the teabags while Eddie shot Rachel a curious look, to which she could only shrug. She'd been expecting more of confrontation with her nephew, or at least some very awkward questions. He seemed remarkably calm about the whole thing, and she wasn't really sure what to make of it.</p><p>Breakfast was quiet, though not necessarily uncomfortable. Philip was in a world of his own, trying to work out how to lie convincingly enough that he would be believed without question, Rachel was trying to force down a slice of toast when her stomach was threatening to rebel and Eddie was caught up wondering about the possibility of the baby being his, of Rachel's decision if it was, if they would survive or if sooner or later this would break them.</p><p>Right now, he wasn't holding out much hope for avoiding the latter option.</p><p>Rachel finally gave up with her breakfast, pushing the remains away and shoving her chair back. "I'm going to jump in the shower," she murmured, escaping before she heard either murmur a reply. She didn't even think about turning the shower as hot as she could stand it, trying to chase away the chill the seemed to have settled right into her bones. The spray beat down on her but she closed her eyes against it, and made no move to grab her shampoo.</p><p>The sound of the bathroom door opening had her tensing, turning her head as she held her breath, listening. "Eddie?" There was no reply, but she could see his shape moving through the glass and the steam, but only fully relaxed when he slid in behind her. "Don't do that, you scared me."</p><p>"Sorry." He dropped a kiss to her shoulder, holding her for a moment before he reached over her to grab her shampoo. "Tip your head back."</p><p>She did so, even as her heart ached at his touch. He was painstakingly careful as he massaged the liquid through her hair and washed it out, careful to angle the water away from her face before he repeated the process with conditioner, this time using his fingers to detangle her hair at the same time. Absently, she wondered where he'd learnt to do that, biting her lip to stop from weeping at the care he showed her.</p><p>There was nothing sexual in the act, yet somehow it was the most intimate thing she thought she'd ever experienced. When she tried to raise her arms, to do something, he gently knocked her hands back and carried on with his tasks, until finally they were both clean and rinsed off and he was wrapping a towel around her, securing his own around his waist.</p><p>She thought that was the end of it, but to her surprise, as she sat down at her dresser he appeared behind her, fully dressed and without a word took the comb from her hand and began to section her hair. She didn't say a word, watching him silently in the mirror.</p><p>She still wanted to cry.</p><p>Every time he completed a task, Rachel found herself wondering if it was the last time she would be able to witness it from him, and she hated herself for doing it. As he combed her hair she wondered if it was the last time she'd be able to be this close to her. She wondered if she would ever let anyone else be this close to her, ever again. It didn't seem likely, not when this hurt her to her very core. She was thinking of the worst case scenario, but she couldn't help doing so. She willed herself to think it would be all sunshine's and flowers, that the baby wouldn't be Eddie's and they could both move on without Melissa in their lives. But the reality was that there was a very good chance Eddie was about to have a child with someone else, and that someone being her sister.</p><p>"We should know today."</p><p>"Know what?" Rachel knew exactly what, but she also was trying her hardest not to think of it. She was hoping Eddie wouldn't mention it, but should have known he'd be one to try and get their feelings out in the open. After everything that originally happened with Melissa, he always made sure that from then on then told each other everything and were as honest as possible. Rachel agreed wholeheartedly at the time, only now she wished she hadn't.</p><p>Eddie resisted the urge to roll his eyes, not needing Rachel to bury her head in the sand. Not today. "The scan, the dates. We should know today. She's phoning Philip." They needed to face this together, needed to put on a united front more than ever. Only he wasn't sure if he was the only one waving the flag for their relationship, no matter how hard she said she was with him.</p><p>It seemed the name of her nephew snapped Rachel from the funk she'd found herself in. It wasn't fair on him. It wasn't fair on any of them, but especially not him. He was having to be the bearer of their news, good or bad. It was a lot to have weighing on his shoulders, and she immediately felt guilty even though she hadn't put him in the situation. "Let's go out then."</p><p>Eddie blinked a few times before answering, shocked at the complete 180 she had turned in a matter of seconds. "Where?"</p><p>"Anywhere. No use moping around here. Let's take Phil somewhere fun."</p><p>"I'll ring Alison, see if we can take Michael?"</p><p>"Eddie.." Rachel answer cautiously. It wasn't that she didn't want Eddie's son there, but part of her wondered if it would make it all worse. If having a family day with Michael would be a step too far. She loved the little boy as if he were her own, and it was just one more tearful goodbye that she really couldn't bare to have.</p><p>"I know, but this is just another normal day isn't it?" Luckily Eddie knew where her thoughts went, knew her fears and exactly what she was thinking.</p><p>So Rachel found herself nodding, leaving Eddie to ring his ex-wife and tracked Philip down in his room. She knocked on the door and waited to be asked to come in, some sort of unspoken room that the two had established quickly after he moved in. "Phil, get ready. We're going to a farm."</p><p>"Wicked." The way Philip's face lit up proved Rachel was making the right decision. He'd missed out on these key visits as a child, and she was glad she was able to deliver on them now. "On one condition."</p><p>"Go on.."</p><p>"If today, you know, goes well.. I get to help you pack later."</p><p>"Pack?"</p><p>"Your holiday is tomorrow, and you've not packed a thing Rachel."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She froze. "Philip… I don't know…"</p><p>But he wasn't about to let her get away with it. "Rach, you deserve this. And you've been looking forward to it for weeks."</p><p>"It's not that easy."</p><p>He shrugged. "It is if you make it that easy."</p><p>In another part of the house, she could hear Eddie's voice as he spoke to Alison, and felt a lump in her throat. "I wish I could…"</p><p>The look on her face had him promising himself that if he managed to pull today off, he would find a way to ensure she and Eddie were on that plane as planned. He seemed to making a lot of these vows, he thought to himself ruefully. He only hoped he could actually follow through with them.</p><p>Eddie hadn't expected Rachel to be completely okay with him, but he'd hoped she would at least manage to interact with him. But it seemed like that was too much to hope for- she barely managed to look at him, was careful not to be alone with him, that one of the boys was constantly around. And the one time Eddie dare to place a hand on the small of her back, a gesture he'd done a hundred times before, she shied away from him, quickly slipping to Philip's other side. Eddie had to clamp down on his emotions, struggling not to demand she talk to him properly. Just a few hours before, they'd been wrapped up together and she'd been so willing to try… now it seemed as if she was beginning to regret that decision.</p><p>Michael was loving life, running around like a mad thing and Philip was dashing after him, happily showing him animal after animal. Rachel moved to follow them, bag slung over her shoulder but on a whim, Eddie shot his hand out a caught hold of her wrist. "I love you."</p><p>Rachel looked stricken, frozen in place as tears instantly sprang to her eyes. "Don't…"</p><p>"Why not?" he demanded. "It's the truth."</p><p>"Because we could lose it all. Don't make it harder."</p><p>He stepped closer so he could lower his voice. "You promised to try this morning. Was that all a lie?"</p><p>"No, of course not!"</p><p>"Then what, Rachel?"</p><p>She blinked rapidly, turning her head away and automatically seeking out Michael and Philip. They were happily petting a donkey, and for a moment, she could imagine another child standing there. A little girl with Eddie's eyes and Melissa's hair…</p><p>She yanked away from Eddie's hold, stepping away and avoiding his eyes. "Let's just get through today."</p><p>How he managed to make it through the rest of the day was beyond him. He was hurt, putting on an act in front of Michael and Philip but close to breaking down as soon as their heads were turned. He began to follow in her footsteps of keeping around the boys instead of spending time alone with Rachel, chasing after Michael or engaging Philip in conversation whenever Michael was occupied. He wasn't even aware if Rachel knew was he was doing, wasn't sure she'd care too much either. He didn't know what else to do, was ready to give up as it was clear they weren't on the same page anymore.</p><p>The drive home was painful, Philip more than aware of the tension but Michael remaining oblivious as he chatted about the animals and sang along to the CD Eddie had kept in his arm. As soon as he pulled into Rachel's place, she bolted from the car and went straight upstairs without looking back. Philip waited for him whilst he got Michael out of the car and they shared a look, with Eddie not able to do much other than shrug his shoulders. He wanted to reassure Philip, but he wasn't even able to reassure himself at the moment. So he placed Michael down with his bag of treats from the gift shop and left him with Philip, following Rachel upstairs with hopes that he'd get some answers at least. But he found her sat on the bed, staring at the wall as if it was giving her all the answers she needed. Eddie knew he was being selfish, and decided that enough was enough. "I'm going to take Michael back to my place, stay there tonight." He commented from the doorway, not wanting to step inside and impose on her private space, not anymore than he already had.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"You're not even going to try?" He tried to keep the anger out of his voice, he really did. But he was receiving all kinds of mixed messages and he couldn't take much more of it. He was hurt, heartbroken by the look on her face and the fact that it was his actions that had put it there.</p><p>"I really am sorry Eddie."</p><p>Eddie looked at her in confusion, almost begging her not to answer but still needing to know. "For what?" He asked, scared that this really was it. A final day out and now it was all over, a simple goodbye being all that was left in their relationship.</p><p>"I just.. can't-"</p><p>"Then try." He finally exploded, walking towards her and taking hold on her hands. He slid down to the floor so he was crouched in front of her, ensuring she had her eyes on him. "You need to try Rachel, you said you wanted to. What's changed? Why last night, but not now? Do you think that's fair on me? On Michael and Philip?" He knew he was striking below the belt, but he needed some answers. He hoped that by getting her riled up she would finally tell him what she was really thinking, instead of trying to bottle it up and ignore him.</p><p>"Like I said, in sorry." Her voice was still so quiet, so without emotion that Eddie was worried she really had broken.</p><p>"Rach, for gods sake-"</p><p>Philip tried hard not to listen, tried to let them be and put his attention on competing a jigsaw with Michael that they'd purchased from the gift shop. But Eddie's voice was getting louder, and this was not what he wanted to happen. So he stood up and left Michael for a second, happily piecing together the easy jigsaw and made a beeline for Rachel's soon where they both room. It seemed as though he got there just in time as Eddie was planning to leave and take Michael with him. So Philip took a deep breath and realised now was his chance, his only chance to fix things once and for all. He took out his phone and knocked on the door, opening it quickly before they had chance to send him away. "I'm sorry but, it's just.. mum phoned."</p><p>Eddie shot to his feet, looking like he'd been punched but Philip was more concerned about his aunt, who didn't even react. He glanced at Eddie uncertainly, but the man just shook his head. "What did she say, Phil?"</p><p>"She... the doctor said she's not as far along as she thought she was. He thinks the equipment wherever mum was is really old. She said you're not the dad."</p><p>Philip had never been religious, nor one for prayer. Now, he found himself begging any deity that existed that both of them would buy this, that they'd accept it and not ask questions and that his mother wouldn't screw it up, and everything would just go back to how it was, when they were all happy and planning for the future and before Rachel and Eddie looked like the world had fallen out from under their feet.</p><p>Eddie physically took a step backwards, gasping out a breath. "It's not mine?"</p><p>Philip shifted uncomfortably, and said nothing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Thank God..." Eddie muttered, and looked over to Rachel. His stomach dropped. She was looking over at Philip, expression numb and hardly seemed to have heard her nephew. "Rach," he said gently. "Did you hear Phil?"</p><p>She gave a single, jerky nod. "Do I say congratulations?"</p><p>Philip's eyes widened at her tone, looking over at Eddie just in time to see his face contort strangely. "Give us a minute, Phil." His voice was strangely calm, and he didn't look up at the boy who did as asked and withdrew, closing the door behind him. He hovered uncertainly for a moment, unsure about leaving them alone. But Eddie wasn't one of his mother's boyfriends, and Phil already felt guilty enough without eavesdropping on a very private conversation.</p><p>Inside the room, Eddie was looking at Rachel measuredly, taking a seat on the bed beside her. "Talk to me."</p><p>For a long few seconds, the only sound was their breathing. "Is there any point?"</p><p>"Of course there bloody is!" he exploded. "Rachel, I'm not a mind reader! You have to tell me what's going on in your head."</p><p>Rachel winced at his tone, but was still trying to gather her own thoughts. She had no idea how to feel, she'd seen the flash of disappointment cross Eddie's face at the news before it was taken over with complete joy, yet couldn't work out how to feel for herself. She ignored him for a moment longer, aware of his presence beside her but needing to know how to react next. Her next move was going to change her life.</p><p>She had two choices. She could tell Eddie it didn't matter, that too much had changed and the scan results didn't mean anything. Her head was telling her that it was the right thing to do, that no matter what, Melissa wasn't going to let this lie. She'd come back once already, and Rachel knew her sister. Knew she wasn't likely to give up after one set of results. She'd keep trying, especially if this meant she didn't know who the father was. Could Rachel let her sister struggle alone with a newborn? Would Eddie feel sorry for her and offer to help anyway?</p><p>But her heart? Her heart told her to jump into Eddie's arms and take this one as a win. This was their only obstacle that she could see which caused them to truly end of final terms. With that obstacle gone, they could face anything, and do it together.</p><p>She sat weighing up both options, Eddie right beside her and practically begging her to speak. It was as though she could hear the angel and devil on her shoulder having an argument, telling her which decision to make and how to proceed next. It was as she finally looked up, Eddie's eyes hopeful and patient, that she finally made her decision.</p><p>Her heart won out, and a large grin threatened to split her face in two as she tackled him back to the bed. He clearly wasn't expecting her attack as he fell completely against the mattress, Rachel sprawled on top of him as she giggled childishly. She held his arms above his head, her forehead pressed to his as she kept their eyes locked. "Let's go on holiday." She whispered, as if spilling her deepest secret as her hair caused a curtain around their faces.</p><p>Eddie blinked a few times, trying to process what exactly had happened in the space of a minute. He'd been so sure she'd send him packing, tell him that the results didn't mean anything and that he needed to leave anyway. This was a very welcomed shock, and her words made his head spin with happiness. "You mean that?" He asked, aware that she had a tendency to make rash promises before her head caught up to her heart and she began to regret everything she'd said. He searched her face for signs of regret, and was pleased not to find any.</p><p>"I mean it." She couldn't blame him being hesitant, they'd both been round the block with their emotions in the short time it had been since Melissa turned up. But Rachel didn't want to think of that anymore, she didn't want to think at all. She wanted to get away, to focus on the two of them and their relationship. She wanted their life to start again when they returned, Philip and Michael a constant presence in their lives as they began again. "I love you Eddie Lawson." And finally, she kissed him. She'd never been a romantic, never really had a reason to believe in true love or soulmates. Her life hadn't been full of people who brought her happiness or cared for her in any way other than to gain something themselves. But as their lips met, she felt every cliche she'd ever heard come true. There were fireworks, birds singing, people cheering and her future flashing before her very eyes. She'd never have any doubts that she'd made the right decision if every kiss felt like this, this was home.</p><p>Philip wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel. On one hand, waving a loved up Rachel and Eddie off in a taxi had been wonderful, and he'd allowed himself a triumphant punch to the air once they were out of sight. On the other hand... on the other hand, he'd lied to them about something unforgivable. And it sat in his stomach like a stone.</p><p>At the same time his aunt was in the air, he was walking into town, to a small cafe where his mother's blonde hair was easily visible. She looked up at his approach, smiling broadly. "Hello love!"</p><p>He slid in opposite her. "Did you find it?"</p><p>She sighed. "Here."</p><p>She slid him a folder, where he was stunned to find not only the birth certificate he'd requested, but also his passport, insurance number and various other documents and memorabilia from his life. "I figured you'd want it all," his mother said bitterly.</p><p>"I do. Thanks."</p><p>"Where are Rachel and Eddie? Do they know you're here?"</p><p>He didn't look at her. "No. As far as they're concerned, you've no reason to be in their lives anymore."</p><p>Melissa swirled her cup in the air, eyes fixed on it. "They really bought it then?" She wasn't quite sure how she felt about that. She should want her sister's happiness, she knew, but there was a small, selfish part of her that was shrieking furiously.</p><p>Phillip narrowed his eyes at her. "Yeah. And you're not doing to ruin it, right?"</p><p>"It was my idea, remember?"</p><p>That didn't mean anything, he thought sourly, but didn't dare say it aloud lest she chance her mind. "So are you leaving again?"</p><p>She picked up the teapot, topped up her cup. "Probably. I don't know where yet."</p><p>"You liked London?" he offered. She hummed an agreement, taking a sip.</p><p>"You're doing the right thing."</p><p>Now, she gave him an amused look. "Who are you trying to convince?"</p><p>He squirmed in his seat, averting his eyes away and she put her cup down, leant forward. "What's the real reason you want to stay, Phil?"</p><p>"Why do you care?" It was out before he could stop himself.</p><p>"Phil!" She looked hurt. "I'm your mother!"</p><p>"When it suits you." His tone was icy cold and scathing, and his mother looked stunned. "You left me. You were gone for months, you didn't even text. And when you did come back, it wasn't even for me, it was for Eddie. I'm an afterthought when it comes to you, and sometimes not even that."</p><p>"You were with Rachel," she dismissed, but looked uncomfortable. "And besides, you can look after yourself, you're fifteen."</p><p>"Sixteen!" he snapped.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I'm sixteen! You missed my birthday! And if that doesn't prove my point then nothing will." He surged to his feet, shoved the folder into his backpack and shouldered it.</p><p>"Phil, I'm sorry!"</p><p>He didn't reply, walking away and ignoring the calls of his name from behind him.</p><p>He wished he'd said more, was regretting walking away when he found himself back at Rachel's. He was due at Bolton's soon, knew Rachel would be checking on him as soon as they landed and were settled. He had a hint that it was why they'd suggested him staying there, so they could easily check with Candeece. He probably should care seeing how he was now sixteen, but it warmed his heart instead. His Aunt cared enough to check he was safe, to check he was being looked after, and he'd never had that before. His mum had never bothered, he was sure he could go away for weeks without her checking on his whereabouts. But with Rachel she had boundaries, set curfews and expected to be kept in the loop. So instead of rebelling as most teenagers probably should, he made sure to keep to them and always held up his side of the deal when he did go out.</p><p>Now alone with his thoughts, he really started to doubt his own actions. What if this all came back to blow up in his face? What if Rachel and Eddie found out he'd lied and no longer wanted anymore to do with him?</p><p>Luckily this thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing, and he cringed when he saw Rachel's name.</p><p>"Hiya love, are you with Bolton yet?"</p><p>"Not yet, I've still not packed so I'm just finishing up." He lied easily, knowing it was a very him thing to do. He could tell from Rachel's voice already though, she sounded happy.</p><p>Rachel laughed at her nephew's antics, grateful that he wasn't going to be alone while her and Eddie were away. Part of her wished he had come with them, hated leaving him behind that same morning. But the alone time with Eddie was much needed, and she knew Philip would appreciate being with his friends far more than being with his aunt and her boyfriend. "Of course you haven't. Will you text me when you get there though?" She be checking in with Candeece too. Not that she didn't trust Philip, but just because she wouldn't be able to rest until she knew he was entirely in safe hands. It was the only way Eddie had gotten her to agree, after he'd spoken to Candeece and gotten her to promise to care for Philip for the week they were away as if he was her own.</p><p>"I will. What's the weather like?" Philip asked as he actually got a move on and started packing a bag, his phone stuck between his ear and his shoulder and he stuffed clothes into a backpack. He listened partly as Rachel told him all about the glorious sun and their amazing hotel, and he knew then that he'd made the right decision. Without him, she'd never have gone on holiday and wouldn't be able to tell him all about the amazing things they were going to do. And it meant he had a week of trying to think of a solution, a way to make sure his mum kept her side of the deal and didn't ruin their happiness anymore than she already had. He said goodbye to his aunt and finally left the house, making sure it was locked and feeling much lighter than he had when he entered it. It was all going to be okay, he told himself. A week was a long time, he could do this. He only hoped his mum was in the mood for cooperating, not that he wanted to speak to her anymore than he needed to.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>While Philip was plotting, Eddie was sat basking in sunshine, wondering absently what Rachel would say if he suggested staying here forever. It would solve as many problems as it created, he thought, and there was no reason Philip couldn't join them eventually.</p><p>As if summoned by his thoughts, Rachel appeared down the stone steps leading to the courtyard where he was sitting, giving him a hesitant smile. They hadn't had a chance to talk properly, between Michael's presence the night before and then the rush to pack before their flight. Now it hung between them, thick and cloying. They loved each other, but both had been willing to walk away at different points over the past couple of days. Eddie didn't know how they came back from that.</p><p>Rachel sat next to him, careful to keep a space between them and it sent a pang through him. This wasn't fair. On a whim, he held his hand out, laying it between them, allowing her the choice.</p><p>She took it. Fingers interlacing, her ankles crossing as she tipped her face towards the sun. "We're going to be okay, aren't we?"</p><p>For a woman who hated to be vulnerable, it was a surprising plea for comfort. He squeezed her hand gently. "Of course we are."</p><p>"Melissa's telling the truth, right?"</p><p>He looked at her, startled. "What? Of course she is... she must be!"</p><p>She shrugged minutely. "I wouldn't put it past her."</p><p>"Why would she lie? When this was the reason she came back in the first place?"</p><p>The fact that Eddie was a large part of the reason remained unspoken, but Rachel acknowledged it with a tilt of her head.</p><p>"Good point."</p><p>"Rachel." He turned to her properly, straddling the bench they were sat on so that he could face her. "It's over."</p><p>For a moment, he could see the lines of exhaustion written on her face. And then he blinked and it was gone as if it had never been there. He frowned, wondering what else she found so easy to hide from him. Without a word, she shifted and practically fell into his embrace, relieved when she felt his arms immediately come around her. "I love you."</p><p>He closed his eyes, pressed a kiss to her hair. "I love you too. We're going to be fine, Rach. I promise."</p><p>She pulled back just enough to give him a watery smile. "Holiday of a lifetime, right?"</p><p>"Exactly."</p><p>They would have to talk, they both knew. But for now, this would do.</p><p>They spoke to Philip and Michael often, having to promise the little boy that he would be coming on the next holiday. Each day, Eddie made sure that Rachel knew just how happy he was that she'd decided to come away with him. There was nothing he'd forgotten in his plans when he booked the holiday, their days filled with the perfect combination of relaxing and activities. Rachel loved walking, so they spent their time hiking and admiring the gorgeous views that surrounded them. She had to tell Eddie far too many times to stop with the corny comments, but it warmed her heart at the same time.</p><p>Neither brought up Melissa for the next few days, until it was getting towards the end and they were faced with the reality of going home. Rachel had picked the place for dinner that night, had spotted it on one of their walks and knew the view would be incredible. She wasn't disappointed, but something about the evening just seemed off. She hadn't to be feeling so negative, but couldn't shake it or put it off much longer. So after finishing their mains and whilst waiting for deserts, she leant over the table and grabbed hold of Eddie's hand. "When we get back, what happens?"</p><p>"What do you mean?" He took a swig of his beer before running his thumb over the knuckles of her hand that was holding his. He knew she'd been off all night, and was at least glad that she was opening up to him finally. As amazing as the holiday had been, he'd notice her face falling a few times before she seemed to remember herself and pick it back up. He hated to think that she was putting on a facade, pretending to be happy and skirting around the truth to avoid any confrontation.</p><p>Rachel noticed the tone in his voice, knew that this was what he'd been dreading. It was both a blessing and a curse, how well Eddie knew her. And situations like this reminded her just how impossible it had always been to hide things from him. "Eddie, we can't keep pretending-"</p><p>"Are you pretending to be happy here? With me?"</p><p>"Of course not." She pacified quickly, knowing that she could say that truthfully at least. She hated that she was making him feel insecure, and hated her sister even more for putting them in this situation. "We just.. need a plan. We need to think of a plan together. Will you ask for a DNA test?"</p><p>Eddie pondered on the question, was hoping to avoid the situation for a few days longer. It was true that something needed to happen regarding Melissa, especially considering the fact that nobody, except Philip, had actually spoken to her. "I don't know." He answered honestly. "It makes it too real, you know? And if she has lied, then I lose you all over again."</p><p>Rachel wanted to cut in, wanted to reassure him that he wasn't going to lose her. But she couldn't make empty promises, not to Eddie, not about this.</p><p>"A few days ago you were convinced she hadn't."</p><p>His thumb drew circles over her hand. "I know. Most of the time I still think that, can't fathom a single reason why she would. But then I remember that I never thought she'd turn up after months of no contact with an unmissable bump and no remorse."</p><p>All of a sudden, the delicious food was too heavy in her stomach and the thought of dessert was making her nauseous. "I'll be back in a minute." She pushed to her feet, ignoring Eddie's look of concern as she headed inside the restaurant. He would assume she was going to the bathroom, she knew, but instead she bypassed it and slipped outside.</p><p>Just up from the restaurant was a small area overlooking the sea, with stone benches and enough plants that it was somewhat private. There was no one else there as she perched on the small wall and stared out over the ocean, one arm wrapping defensively around herself. This had been going on for a week now, a week of avoiding the subject and pretending nothing was wrong and sex and playing happy families but ultimately, nothing had changed and they were still no closer to a solution. Rachel closed her eyes, tilting her head back as the soft breeze kept her hair out of her face, and she desperately tried to keep her stomach from rebelling at the thought of what might happen next.</p><p>Several hundred miles away, Philip was gaping at his mother in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me…"</p><p>"You were the one who thought it'd best if I leave."</p><p>"Yes, I meant to maybe Derby, or London again! Not to the freaking Caribbean!"</p><p>He pretended that it didn't hurt that his mother was willing to move thousands of miles away from him on a permanent basis, nor that she apparently hadn't even considered him in the decision. She hadn't even asked if he wanted to stay or go with her. Melissa shrugged. "It'll be good for me," she said airily. "Sunshine, a better lifestyle. Just what the doctor ordered."</p><p>"And the baby?"</p><p>"What about it?"</p><p>"You're going to be all alone. What will you do?"</p><p>She waved a hand in the air. "I managed to raise you, didn't I?"</p><p>"You had dad, and nan and grandpa. And Rachel. And money to hire babysitters and put me in nursery," he said flatly. "You won't even have a job, let alone maternity pay!"</p><p>His mother turned around and frowned at him. "Could you please try and be just a little bit happy for me? I'm excited about this! It's going to be good for me, and all you can do is point out flaws."</p><p>There were a long few moments of silence. "And what about me?" he asked quietly, and she looked at him oddly.</p><p>Melissa honestly wondered why he had asked that. They'd never had the best relationship, not since Philip had gone to secondary school. She always tried, at least.. she thought she had. But it seemed all was lost with him, Rachel had a much better relationship with him after only a few months. He was choosing to live with her, had gone with her and wanted to stay at her house instead of with the woman who gave birth to him. So why should she consider him when thinking of where to move? He wouldn't come anyway. If Philip wanted to stay with Rachel, that was his decision. He'd made her lie to her sister, made her lie to Eddie. It may have been her idea initially, but her own son was far too excited to come up with a story in order to save his Aunt's happiness. What about her happiness? So this was her new chance, for a new life with a new baby. Maybe this one wouldn't hate her so much. If she was really honest with herself, she knew she needed a drastic move to stay away from Eddie and not beg and plead for him back. If she moved somewhere close, she'd be back at any moment of weakness or after a few too many glasses of wine once the baby was born. Plus, a drastic move away meant less chance of Eddie following her for a paternity test. She didn't know if she was still on board with the lie Philip had invented, part of her still want to ruin her sister's happiness and tell them that the baby had to be Eddie's. But she'd been honest about the weeks after she'd left, she truly had been on a spiral and had spent far too many mornings having to get an Uber home from somewhere completely unknown. She looked at Philip finally and shrugged. "Phil, come on now. You chose Rachel-"</p><p>"And you chose to leave me." Philip fumed, unable to believe that she was choosing to throw that in his face. How could he be blamed for choosing a stable life and a loving home? When his other option involved not knowing when the next move would be or who the next man was that would walk through the door. If he stayed with his mum, he was sure he'd end up with the responsibility of a newborn as she went out until all hours. He wasn't prepared to do that, not anymore.</p><p>Melissa stood then, going to the door and opening it to offer Philip the hint to leave. "Love, we're not getting anywhere. Why don't you go and calm down, hey? Stress is bad for the baby." She caught the look of hurt on his face as she rubbed her swollen stomach, and swallowed a lump in her throat. She did care for him, she did love her son. But she wasn't sure that was enough to save their relationship.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie was almost on the verge of going to look for Rachel, she'd been gone for far longer than he would have expected, their desserts having arrived a while ago and were beginning to wilt in the heat. He'd just straightened to look for someone to ask for a bill, when instead he saw Rachel slipping past the other tables towards him. He couldn't be sure, but he thought her eyes might have been pink-rimmed, and worry flicked through him. "Are you okay?"</p><p>She gave him a small smile. "Of course. Sorry I took so long. These look good."</p><p>"They do," he agreed, eyeing her. They both dug in, and he couldn't help but watch as her eyes widened in pleasure.</p><p>"You have to try this!" She held out a spoonful, and he wondered if she even realised just how intimate this was. He accepted it, a smile spreading across his own face.</p><p>"That's wonderful," he agreed. He held out some of his own, unable to tear his gaze away as her lips closed around his fork, eyes never leaving his. Suddenly, his throat felt very, very thick. "Rachel…"</p><p>She shook her head slightly. "We have one more night to be us. Let's make the most of it."</p><p>He liked that idea. He reached out his free hand, and she readily entwined her fingers with his. She's spent twenty years pretending she wasn't Amanda Fenshaw- she could manage to pretend she didn't feel sick with apprehension for one night.</p><p>If he didn't know her as well as he did, Eddie might have almost believed it. They lingered in town, hand-in-hand as they wandered in and out of shops, enjoying the views and the ambience and just being in each other's company. Rachel found herself distracted in a small artist's street stall, finding herself drawn to a watercolour of the town that she knew would be the perfect souvenir. The question was, however, was would she want to remember it in a few months' time.</p><p>Eventually, she decided yes, bartering the seller down before she happily handed the money over. She just begun to wonder where Eddie was, when she saw him coming towards her from the direction they'd already been. "Where did you get to?"</p><p>"I saw this earlier, and couldn't resist."</p><p>He pulled a box out of the bag he was carrying, opening it for her and she gasped, mouth dropping open. "Eddie…"</p><p>"You like it?"</p><p>"It's beautiful."</p><p>He lifted the necklace out of the box, making a small motion with his finger and she didn't even think about turning around, allowing him to slip it around her neck, automatically raising her hand to touch the pendant. Eddie allowed his fingers to linger over the nape of her neck, dropping a kiss to her shoulder. "It suits you."</p><p>"Thank you, Eddie." She turned her head just enough to meet his eyes, realising only then just how close her was standing. Liquid heat that had nothing to do with the climate flooded through her, and him, judging by the way his pupils blew out and he swallowed thickly. "Let's go," she suggested roughly, and he was hardly about to argue.</p><p>After thoroughly enjoying their last night together, and also their last morning together, it was finally time to head home. Rachel refused to acknowledge that this probably meant they'd be facing the music soon, and chose instead to make the most of the time spend with Eddie. Melissa's reappearance had shown her how quickly it could all be taken away from her, and although she still had her doubts and worries, she was trying her hardest not to let them win. Their first port of call was to pick Philip up, and Rachel was extremely grateful to have him back. She had a sneaky suspicion that he felt the same, as he allowed her to hug him for a whole 7 seconds, not that she was counting. They made a point of eating dinner together, Rachel and Eddie telling Philip all about their holiday and what they'd been up to.</p><p>Philip made sure to fill them in on what he'd got up to with Bolton also, ensuring his aunt that he'd stuck to her rules and hadn't gone out past curfew. He had a valid point that Candeece wouldn't let him, not when it was her boss's nephew that she was taking care of. Bolton even complained about how nice his mum was being, swearing that she was never usually so nice to him or made him such grand meals. But as nice as the meals were, Philip was more than happy about being back with his aunt. This was where he belonged, he knew that now. Going back with his mum wasn't even an option anymore, not when he finally knew what it was like to have a really guardian, one that truly cared for you. But he knew he still had a long way to go, knew he had to start thinking of a plan very quickly. Part of him thought about asking Bolton for help, but he couldn't risk it getting out. He'd done too many questionable things at Waterloo Road already, he didn't need his name in the mud once again. "So, I saw mum when you were away." He started off easy, knowing that their reactions would determine just how much information he shared at the present moment. On reflection, he probably should have left it a little longer to slip in such information, at least until they'd all finished eating.</p><p>Rachel dropped her fork onto her plate, the loud noise making Eddie jump and almost causing him to spill his beer all over the table. He caught it just in time, but still looked to Rachel in confusion. Only she'd already recovered by the time she caught his eye, and smiled in return. "Did you love? How was it?" She asked after clearing her throat, pretending like her initial shock hadn't happened.</p><p>"She's moving.. to the Caribbean."</p><p>Rachel's jaw dropped. "What? When?"</p><p>"Soon."</p><p>"Before the baby comes?" Surely she wouldn't be so foolish, Rachel thought. To move to a new country, a new continent, all alone, to take Philip away when he was just about to start his final year-</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Apparently she was that foolish. Rachel sat, stunned for a long moment as she processed that. Her instinctive reaction was to knock some sense into Melissa, to make her see how reckless she was being. Only Melissa was a grown woman. Rachel had spent countless hours trying to steer her away from her more catastrophic ideas but ultimately, her sister had always been a free spirit with her own mind, and there was little Rachel could do to change it. She usually just picked up the pieces... but what if she didn't? Thousands of miles away, Melissa would be completely alone. What would she do when she didn't have big sister to fix her latest screw up?</p><p>But it would be Philip and the baby who suffered, she remembered abruptly. If it were just Melissa, she'd be almost inclined to sit back and watch the fall out. But two innocent children didn't deserve whatever Melissa would inevitably put them through.</p><p>Rachel sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Of course she is."</p><p>Eddie, however, was unusually more perceptive than her, and was eyeing Philip. "Phil? Is she planning for you to go with her?"</p><p>The look on the lad's face said it all. Rachel's head had snapped up, an incredulous look on her face. "You're joking?"</p><p>Philip shrugged. "She doesn't want me with her." He was trying for nonchalance- the waver in his voice gave him away.</p><p>"Sweetheart..." Rachel touched his hand gently. "You know she doesn't mean it- she just doesn't think most of the time."</p><p>He shrugged. "She thinks I chose you over her."</p><p>He sort of had, Eddie thought, but wasn't about to say so. "Do you want to go?"</p><p>"No," he admitted. "But I don't want her to go either." Then, he looked panicked. "Not because I don't want to here, Rach," he said hastily, "but just.. it's... she's..."</p><p>"She's your mum," she finished gently. "Philip, you're allowed to love her. Even when she's being... her."</p><p>He relaxed, smiling slightly as he turned back to his dinner. Over his head, Rachel and Eddie exchanged a look, each reading the other perfectly without words.</p><p>Rachel had no idea how to proceed next, no idea how to make Philip feel better about the situation. "Maybe I should talk to her?" She offered, knowing that Philip would be in no sound state of mind to do so. He always took on tasks so emotionally, really struggled to keep his personal feelings out of a situation. She could tell by his face just how hurt he was, and could only imagine how much pain he must have been in when Melissa had initially told him. And she knew she needed to offer to go before Eddie did, knowing the last thing they all needed was around round of those two trying to get one up on the other. Their feud had consequences for all of them, and Rachel's main priority was Philip.</p><p>"No." Philip interrupted as soon as Rachel had finished, knowing it was the last thing he needed to happen. It Rachel went to his mum, and she was aware that not only were her and Eddie happily together but they'd recently been on holiday, it would not end well. Philip had been very careful to avoid mentioning his aunt when around his mum, knowing her jealousy had a tendency to send her head spinning. She'd simply blurt out her lie, and Philip would be in for it then.</p><p>Rachel looked at him strangely, trying to work out his reaction. He was upset, he needed someone to fight his corner and she was offering to do that. "Why not? It might help." Melissa was obviously not thinking straight, was too wrapped up in her own emotions to be thinking about her son. At least that's what she hoped it was, and hoped she wasn't using this as a way to get back at Philip for choosing to stay with her. She was irrational, and clearly had a tendency to choose certain paths in the spur of the moment. After all she'd upped and left her child after a bad break up, so a drastic move abroad wasn't past her.</p><p>"Rachel will be able to get through to her. If anyone can, it's her." Eddie added, smiling at Rachel in support as he finally spoke up. He didn't quite know what to think about Melissa's plans, had learned to take what she said with a pinch of salt. It was hard to trust anything she came out with and as the past had shown, if her lips were moving then she was more than likely lying.</p><p>Philip looked between them both and at their hopeful faces, realising that he had no way out of this. He couldn't protest without throwing himself under the bus and he desperately didn't want to do that. If his mum didn't want them then he needed to make sure that his aunt still did. "Thanks Rach."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Despite what she'd said, when it actually came down to talking to Melissa, it was easier said than done. Rachel's thumb hovered over the call button on her phone, apprehension swirling within her. She had to call, she knew. She was already being cowardly enough by refusing to do this in person. She simply couldn't watch Melissa lord her pregnancy over her again. But that meant she really, really had to make this call.</p><p>She sighed, taking a deep breath and hitting the button before she could talk herself completely out of it. It rang three times, four times, and maybe Melissa wouldn't pick up and at least she could say that she'd tried-</p><p>"Hi Rach!"</p><p>Or not. "Hi Mel. How are you?"</p><p>Immediately, her sister launched into a long spiel, about herself, the baby, the pregnancy and Rachel suddenly regretted asking. She wasn't really listening to the details, simply waited she paused for breath and quickly interrupted. "Melissa. Philip says you're leaving?"</p><p>There was a beat of silence. "Bet you're pleased."</p><p>"Pleased?" Rachel sat up straight, incredulous. "Of course I'm not pleased! You're running away, Philip's heartbroken and do you even care what you're leaving behind?"</p><p>Melissa scoffed. "Phil isn't heartbroken."</p><p>"You're his mum, Mel. Of course he is. He thinks you don't want him."</p><p>There was another silence, and when she spoke again, Mel's voice was thicker. "He made his choice. I've made mine."</p><p>"He's only sixteen, Mel. He needs you, he's missed you so much. I don't want him to leave, but I don't want you to leave him behind even more. He'd never recover." The chances of getting through to her sister were slim, she thought, but if there was a way to do it, she hoped it would be through Philip. He was still her son, despite everything.</p><p>"It's better this way, Rach. For everyone." Mel told her. It would be so easy, she thought, to blurt out the truth. The real reason she was leaving. She could cut Rachel down so easily, upset her relationships with both Eddie and Philip, make her feel as bad as she felt… but for once, she didn't want to.</p><p>"For everyone? Or for you?" Rachel snapped.</p><p>"I'll talk to you later, Rach."</p><p>"Melissa-,"</p><p>But the line went dead, and Rachel grimaced, looking at the phone. That hadn't gone well.</p><p>Philip can't say he wasn't secretly thrilled that Rachel had only had a short conversation with his mum, grateful that at least she didn't reveal their plan or the way he had lied. But he couldn't help but feel upset when she did fill him in, hearing how she thought he'd made his choice and that his feelings really no longer mattered. He hadn't originally had a choice thanks to her, hadn't known where else to go when he returned home from school to find his mum and most of her belongings gone. He let himself cry at the realisation that she'd abandoned him before packing a bag and turning up on his aunt's doorstep. She didn't hesitate to bundle him inside, didn't ask questions until she knew he was ready to talk. And now, his mother was planning to abandon him again, halfway around the world away from him. "Why does she hate me?" He asked in a small voice, he was curled up on the sofa and had his knees bent up to his chest.</p><p>"She loves you Philip." Rachel took her place beside him, touching his shoulder at the broken look on his face. Philip never cried, and wasn't sure she would be able to pinpoint the last time she saw him shed tears if put on the spot. But now he was definitely on the verge, and she wasn't sure how she would handle that.</p><p>He turned to her then, his head raised slightly at he swallowed the lump in his throat. "How can you say that?" He asked, genuinely curious why she thought that to be true.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>He shrugged softly, knowing this was not the way he had wanted to spend his day. "You didn't want to go on holiday because I was here, and you rang me every day when you did go." He said, knowing she already knew this but needing her to know how appreciated it was. "My own mum wants to move to the Caribbean and hasn't even offered."</p><p>"I don't know how to answer that honey." Rachel offered softly, not wanting to cause him anymore upset but really not knowing how to pacify his concerns when they didn't seem to have any answers.</p><p>"I think you love me more than she does."</p><p>Her heart broke at his statement, tears filling her own eyes at how bad this poor boy had it. Nobody deserved this, to feel so unloved by their own family; and she should know. "I can't answer that either, but I do love you. And you're my first priority, above Eddie and above your mother."</p><p>The last thing in the world she'd been expecting was to find her arms suddenly full of a teenaged boy. Philip pretended to be so unaffected by everything, acted like her didn't care. He was still a child, so young, even if he'd had to grow up faster than he should have thanks to Melissa. Rachel hugged him back tightly, allowed him to pretend he wasn't crying. What would he have been like, she wondered, if Melissa had raised him properly, without dragging him halfway around the country every time the whim took her? If he'd been allowed to be a child for longer, instead of being forced to act the adult? Hadn't had the burden of his mother's crimes to live with?</p><p>At the very least, Rachel suspected a lot of the issues they'd had over the past few months especially would never have occurred. Philip was awkward socially, because he'd never had the chance to properly make friends before Melissa uprooted them again. He didn't know what to do about his feelings for Flick, because he'd never been able to deal with his emotions properly when with Melissa. And she dreaded to think about what sort of relationship he'd had with his father, considering the man wanted nothing to do with him now.</p><p>When she thought about it, it was a minor miracle Philip hadn't gotten himself into more trouble before now. He'd buried his face in her shoulder, and she willingly held him, would continue to do so for as long as he desired.</p><p>She couldn't fix any of this, however much she might wish she could. Couldn't change it or make him forget, but she could give this. Provide him a safe haven, someone and somewhere he could always call this. She just wished she didn't need to.</p><p>Philip finally pulled away, ducking his head to avoid her gaze with cheeks that could rival the sun. She merely smiled gently at him, hand sliding around his wrist. "I wish I could wave a wand and fix this for you," she told him softly. "Melissa does love you, Phil."</p><p>"Just not as much as she loves everything else."</p><p>She sighed, because she couldn't actually refute that. Her sister was inherently selfish- she'd always known it, even if she hadn't known the full extent until recently.</p><p>"It's okay," Philip said when he saw her expression, and she gave him an odd look. He shrugged. "None of this is your fault. You shouldn't feel bad as well."</p><p>Now she felt even worse. She grasped his chin, kissed his head. "You're a good boy, Philip."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The conversation had drained her, and she practically fell against Eddie when Philip finally escaped to his bedroom to play on his computer. Rachel had a thought to follow him and check he truly was okay, but didn't want to be accused of overcrowding. She was grateful that he'd ever turned to her, and she didn't want to have that stopped. So she let him go and instead found Eddie, who'd given them their space when he approached earlier only to find them in the middle of their heart to heart. He quietly backed out after catching Rachel's eye and realising that she had it in hand, which she was incredibly grateful for. But now she was able to fall against him, and she was thrilled about that. It made her realise that she'd made the right decision in following her heart, because the thought of doing any of this alone was not a welcomed one. He loved her, with his entire being. He always knew what she needed, and how to deal with her when she didn't know that herself. He was willing to leave a new baby, his own flesh and blood, in order to keep her in his life. She wasn't sure he meant it, not if it truly came down to that ultimatum. But the words had left his mouth and she did believe him at the time. She only hoped he'd never really have to choose, because then who would she turn to?</p><p>"How is he?" He asked delicately, and just like that Rachel found herself spilling how she truly felt. Before Eddie, she kept her feelings completely bottled up. Opening up and talking meant being vulnerable, and that was something she refused to be. She was vulnerable once before, and look where she ended up. But Eddie made it so easy, made her want to share her burdens and tackle everything as a team. "I don't know what to do." She admitted quietly, after repeating her conversation with Philip and finally telling Eddie the extent of her conversation with Melissa.</p><p>"About what?"</p><p>Rachel shrugged, truly feeling at a loss. On one hand she wanted Melissa one, would love to know her sister was on the other side of the world where she could no longer cause her anymore harm. But she knew that wasn't best for Philip, knew he'd miss his mum far too much. The alternative meant Philip going with her, and that thought broke her heart. They were a family, here with Eddie and Michael when he was around. She'd miss him if he went, but she didn't know what to suggest for the best. "If Phil goes too, I can't get to him easily." She admitted, biting her lip in an attempt to stop herself from crying. "If he moves with her, follows her across the world, what happens then? She's left him before, and he came to me. If he's across the world, where does he go?"</p><p>Eddie contemplated what Rachel was saying, finding himself stumped for answers himself. He too wanted Melissa gone, didn't want to deal with any more surprises or problems she offered him and Rachel in their relationship. But they had Philip to think of. He only hoped Melissa would think of her son for once too. "I think, he stays here." At his bold statement, Rachel whipped her head up towards him. He knew he needed to elaborate, and he offered her a warm smile before he did so. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to him Rach. I know she's your sister, but you can't trust her. You can't trust that she'd always put Philip first, and you can't risk letting him go across the world to find that out for himself." She lay her head against his shoulder and he ran his hands through her hair, offering physical comfort whilst she listened to his reasonings. "Give him a choice, say you support him either way. But tell him your concerns, and let him know you want him here." Eddie knew more than most that all Philip really wanted was a family, someone to love him unconditionally. Deep down, Philip wanted that love to come from his mother but unfortunately both Eddie and Rachel knew he wouldn't get the results he so desperately wanted. And it was too risky of a game to plan when there's thousands of miles between you and the one person who you can always rely on.</p><p>The rest of the evening was spent pretending like everyone in the house wasn't hurting, smiles forced until there was almost an unanimous decision to go to bed far earlier than they otherwise would have in the middle of summer. Even Phillip, for whom bed was usually code 'play on the computer more quietly than normal' actually intended to go to sleep.</p><p>That had been Eddie's intentions too, until Rachel had slid in next to him and immediately begun to kiss him, touch him, leaving no doubts as to where she was going with it. Eddie had no complaints, although when he tried to pull her closer, she resisted, instead twisting and pushing up until she was straddling him, her hair curtaining around them. He couldn't help but reach up, run his fingers through it, trying to see the expression on her face through the dim light. "Are you okay?"</p><p>He could hear her breathing, heard it hitch. "No. I don't think any of us are."</p><p>That was fair, he admitted, arching up to capture her lips once again. She responded fiercely, burning away the gentleness he'd intended as her own fingers gripped his hair hard. His hand cupped her jaw, breaking their kiss. "Rachel..." He didn't even know what he was asking. Are you sure, do you really want this? She kissed him again.</p><p>"Make the world disappear?" Her request was breathed into the darkness, a quiet plea that wrenched his heart and he couldn't have protested her lips landing back on his even if he'd wanted to.</p><p>He'd done his best to fulfil her request, which is why when he woke in the middle of the night and found the bed beside him empty, he was surprised enough that for a moment, he simply blinked blearily at pillow beside him, uncomprehending. Until he fumbled to extract an arm from the covers, realised the sheets were cold and forced himself up and out of bed, padding out into the hallway in search of a certain errant headteacher. He didn't have to look to look for long- he could see a light from downstairs and when he followed it, easily found Rachel sat with her laptop balanced on her legs, a small frown settled over lips as she concentrated on whatever was on the screen. "Rach, what are you doing? It's the middle of the night."</p><p>She jumped, looking up at him guiltily. "Why aren't you asleep?"</p><p>"I could ask you the same question." He came to sit beside her, and she sighed, running a hand through her hair.</p><p>"I started off with the legalities regarding Philip," she admitted. "But seem to have ended up in the realms of trauma in teenagers."</p><p>Eddie's eyebrows almost hit the ceiling. "You think he's traumatised?"</p><p>"You don't?"</p><p>He shifted, wondering absently why they were having this conversation in the darkest hours of the night. "I think it's a very big word to use."</p><p>"Eddie, he practically stalked Flick this year," she pointed out. "Almost poisoned half the school with the brownies, not to mention the other highly questionable behaviour. I love him dearly, but at best Melissa stunted him emotionally and at worse... she has been the single constant in his life, no matter where she dragged him to. Losing that…"</p><p>Eddie slid a hand over her ankle. "You're right."</p><p>Rachel looked up at him then, not sure she'd heard him right. She'd expected a fight, to be told she was wrong and thinking too far into it. But she appreciated Eddie's support, even if it meant she was none the wiser of what happened next. "Do you think we need to talk to Melissa, face to face?" She asked delicately. She'd exhausted all other options of what she could do, but nothing seemed possible without the reality of having to face her sister.</p><p>Eddie was honoured that she wanted him by her side, but he wasn't thrilled with the idea of facing Melissa again. She'd brought them nothing but trouble, and could only imagine what she'd next come out with if he was to turn up hand in hand with Rachel. Only he'd never really been able to say no to her, tended to agree with wherever it was she had in mind as it was usually the case of her being right in the end anyway. "If that's what you think is best." He replied, but cocked his head to the side in confusion. "But, what for?" He had to ask, needing to know what it was he was going to be facing at least. There was no doubt anymore that Eddie would most definitely follow Rachel anywhere, do anything she suggested as long as she was safe and he was able to be by her side. He only wished that none of those scenarios had to involve her troublesome sister.</p><p>Rachel considered his question. What for indeed. There was so much she needed to say, so many answers she wanted to achieve. She just wasn't sure she'd get any from Melissa, but knew she needed to try. "If she moves, we need to know her plans. How long for, where to. We need to know if she wants Phil to go with her, because I won't just let him go." Rachel knew she probably cared for Philip more than considered normal, mostly down to the fact that he was the closest thing she had to having her own child. But because of that, it meant she wasn't okay with simply shipping him off and possibility never seeing him again. "I agree we need to give Phil the choice, but I need to know what she wants too. What if she doesn't want him?"</p><p>Eddie knew it was a possibly, that Melissa was simply trying to run away and start a fresh with a new life and a new baby. The only downfall to that was the fact she was already a mother, and any choices she made were supposed to concern him. "It is possible Rach, she's hardly shown signs of being mother of the year already." He hated to talk so bad about her sister, knew she hated to hear it too. But he truly struggled to think of a good word to say about the woman, and he wasn't going to lie to Rachel.</p><p>"I know that." Rachel admitted, because she could hardly argue the point. "And if she wants to leave him here, I need her to know she can't leave until she's signed the papers."</p><p>"Papers?"</p><p>"Adoption papers." Rachel knew it was a possibility, always knew there was a chance that this would happen. "If he stays with me, I want to be able to care for him properly." She admitted, knowing there wasn't much she'd be able to do if Melissa still had total control. Even halfway around the world, Rachel would still be going on her say so, and her idea of what was right was usually something to question anyway.</p><p>Eddie processed what she was saying, saw the determined look in her eye and knew he wasn't going to argue that. But then his eyes caught sight of the time, and he had to stifle another yawn. "I'll be right by your side, helping however I can." He promised, gathering her into his arms and shutting her laptop down at the same time. "But not until the morning, at a reasonable time when you've actually gotten some sleep; okay?" But he wasn't asking her, not really. His words held no room for argument, not that Rachel was planning on arguing anyway. She simply allowed him to pick her up, not even bothering to complain about how heavy she was, and let him carry her back to bed. She was still restless, but found herself to be completely exhausted as soon as she hit the sheets. She wrapped herself around Eddie, pressed against his chest and letting his steady heartbeat lull her into a sleep she hopefully wouldn't wake from this time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The wonderful thing about the holidays was that there was nothing to stop anyone from sleeping in as late as they pleased. This time, Eddie woke before Rachel, turning over and wrapping an arm around her as he blinked blearily, trying to wake up. The faint sliver of sunlight through that window that he could see told him that the day was well into beginning, but Rachel didn’t even stir when he climbed out of bed, grabbing the first clothes he found before slipping out the room to avoid waking her unnecessarily.</p><p>It was only when he got to the bathroom and tried to put the jeans on that he realised he’d grabbed Rachel’s by mistake.</p><p>He sighed, backtracked as quietly as he could and this time ended up with his own clothes. On his way downstairs, he peeked into Phil’s bedroom and found a boy-shaped lump under the covers, the room in darkness. No point in waking him, Eddie thought, closing the door again and going in search of a very strong cup of coffee.</p><p>It was after he’d had two of these that Rachel found him, giving him a small smile as she slid into the adjacent seat and stole his cup. He huffed, but grinned at her as he reached out to twirl a lock of her hair around his finger. “How do you feel?”</p><p>“Calmer.” She handed the cup back to him, waited for him to take a sip. “And still worried about Philip.”</p><p>He hummed. “I don’t think that’s going to go away for a while.”</p><p>“I do need to talk to Melissa. The problem is going to be getting her to have an adult conversation.”</p><p>She rested her head on her hand, eyes shadowed. He nudged the coffee back towards her. “Can I say something you’re not going to like?” When she nodded, eyeing him, he took a deep breath. “I think you need to let her make her own mistakes.”</p><p>“She’s my sister, Eddie.”</p><p>“I know,” he acknowledged. “But every time you try to help, she turns it back on you. She lashes out because she knows she can, because she knows that you won’t turn away from her. Maybe this time you need to.”</p><p>Just as he’d feared, she looked distinctly unhappy. “So I should… what? Not contact her? Let her move thousands of miles away without a safety net?”</p><p>Eddie shrugged. “Yes.”</p><p>“And Philip?”</p><p>“You should let him decide what he wants,” he said gently. “He’s old enough, and mature enough to understand the consequences. Let him choose what he wants to happen. Even if you don’t like it. And…”</p><p>She raised an eyebrow. “And?”</p><p>Eddie shifted awkwardly. “The adoption thing. I’m not sure you should get your hopes up.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“His father still has parental rights, even if he’s not involved. And even if he wasn’t an issue, Melissa would not only have to willingly give up her rights, the local authority has to investigate all involved,” he reminded her gently. She knew all of this, but he wasn’t foolish enough to believe she was thinking with a clear head. “How long before they discover two marriages and no divorces? She won’t invite that and I don’t think you would either.”</p><p>Rachel groaned, and dropped her head into her hands. “I didn’t even think of that.”</p><p>He rubbed her shoulder sympathetically. “I didn’t think you had.”</p><p>She raised her head, looked at him tiredly. “This is all such a mess.”</p><p>He couldn’t disagree, hated that he wasn’t able to provide the answers she so desperately wanted. But what he could give her was his support, and the promise that she wasn’t alone. “It’s a mess Rach.” He couldn’t lie, knew she wouldn’t want him to lie anyway. “But we will come through it together, okay? I’m still here, I’m not going anywhere.” He knew she was constantly looking over her shoulder, permanently terrified that she’d be on her own again. It was partly why she was so desperate to keep Philip close to her. He knew she had good intentions really, knew she truly cared for her nephew and wanted him to have a stable home life. But part of it was for herself, to know that he had chosen to stay with her and therefore wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon. He figured it was why she’d come to the conclusion of adoption without really thinking of the logistics, because then he wasn’t able to leave as easily. She still feared that Eddie was going to leave, that he’d soon realise he didn’t want to be with her and that he was better off without her. It seemed no matter what he said or how hard he tried, she was still as insecure about their relationship as she always had been. Only instead of letting it throw him off, he knew he needed to try now more than ever to prove that he was staying.</p><p>It wasn’t that Rachel didn’t believe him, because she truly tried to. But she knew life never really went the way she wanted it to, it always had a way of giving her a false sense of security before reality smacked her hard in the face. But his eyes were so sincere, his promises sounding so real that she’d be stupid to not simply agree with him. “Do you really think we can do it?”</p><p>“What?” Eddie asked, brow furrowed as he considered answer she wanted to her very vague question. This was the closest they’d gotten to an honest conversation about their future, and he was terrified to put a single foot wrong.</p><p>“Stay together. Me and you, Michael, Philip. Do you really think it’s possible for us to work out?” She hated how insecure she sounded, but knew there seemed to be an issue around every single corner as of late. Ever since they’d met, it hadn’t been an easy ride. If it wasn’t Stuart, it was the fire and her scars. Then her sister, and Ralph, and Philip playing up. If Melissa truly moved away, there wasn’t anything standing in their way anymore.</p><p>Eddie could have kissed her for even considering it, for openly admitting to wanting a future with him. “Of course I do.” He didn’t hesitate for a second, knew he didn’t need to think of his answer or how to word it at least. “I love you Rachel, that will never change. I’m not going anywhere, I’m not leaving and I promise not to give up.”</p><p>She reached for his hand on instinct, needing the connection as her throat choked up, eyes pricking. “I love you too.” She slid from her seat to wrap her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck as she felt his lips land on her hair.</p><p>“It’s going to be okay.”</p><p>Rachel closed her eyes. “You can’t promise that.”</p><p>“I can. Somehow, we will make it okay. I swear.”</p><p>Rachel wished with all her heart that she could believe that without hesitating or doubting, but she knew it simply wasn’t true. Or even very likely. Still, she tightened her grip around Eddie, and tried to pretend for a minute that it was.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been another three days of pretending everything was fine, even though they all knew it wasn't. Philip alternated between skulking in his room and spending all day out, apparently with Bolton, although Rachel somewhat doubted this. She couldn't find it in herself to confront him about it however, nor to raise the topic of his mother unless he did first.</p><p>Philip was out again, Eddie caught up with sorting some problem he had with his bank account so Rachel took the opportunity to treat herself to a leisurely bath, even adding in more hot water at one point to keep reading her book. But eventually, she had to admit it was time to get out. She didn't even bother to dry her hair, plaiting it loosely back before taking the time to paint her nails, music playing softly in the background.</p><p>By the time she began to feel the first stirrings of hunger, she was calmer than she'd been in a while, relaxed as she wandered downstairs to find Eddie. She'd barely made it into the kitchen, however, when there was sudden movement from beside her and Eddie was covering her eyes with his hands, almost knocking them both off balance. "What's going on?"</p><p>"A surprise. I thought I had more time." He sounded sheepish.</p><p>"What have you done?"</p><p>"Come with me."</p><p>She could practically hear the smile in his voice, allowed him to guide her outside, over the patio and onto the lawn. "Eddie?"</p><p>"Trust me."</p><p>A few steps further, until he drew them to a stop and lifted his hands. She blinked, not understanding what she was seeing at first. "What…?"</p><p>Eddie grinned. "Do you like it?"</p><p>She did. Blankets and pillows were arranged on the grass, small tealights in jars scattered around to light the area. A laptop, paused on a film she couldn't quite make out and as she was looking, Eddie bent down and picked a wine glass up, handing it to her. "Get settled. I have dinner as well."</p><p>He vanished back inside, and she sank down to sit on one of the cushions, butterflies exploding within her. Gods, she hoped she didn't ever lose him.</p><p>He returned with dinner, and to her joy, Philip too. She wasn't sure if Eddie had planned a romantic night for the two of them, but that fact that he'd stopped to include her nephew and bring him out with him made her heart flutter. She gestured them both over, and caught her nephew's cheeks flushing as he noticed the lights and clear romantic setting that he'd stumbled upon.</p><p>"I'm not staying." Philip added as he took his place next to his aunt. His cheeks were tinted red as he interrupted their evening, but couldn't have passed by with the guilt eating away at him. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry."</p><p>Rachel blinked at him in total confusion, wondering if it meant he'd been up to no good since he'd left the house. "Whatever for?"</p><p>"I've not been dealing with this well, I know that."</p><p>He found a piece of fluff on a blanket very interesting all of a sudden, refusing to meet her eyes and Rachel found herself just wanting to take him in her arms and take away his pain. It was hard to have someone in her life who was already so close to being an adult himself. She longed to catch up on the missing childhood that he didn't get due to his mother's constant need to have a male presence in her life, but Rachel knew it was too late for that. She was only able to concentrate on the time she had with him now in the present. "Phil, there's no rule book."</p><p>"I know that, but I shouldn't be taking it out on you. You've not caused this, I'm not angry with you." He admitted, hated to think that his aunt may possibly resent him in some way. He was sure that it was nobody's ideal scenario to have a teenager dumped on them, and he didn't want to Rachel to feel the same away about him that his own mum did.</p><p>"You can't be angry without whoever you want to be angry with love."</p><p>"No Rach, you're not mum. You didn't ask for this, and you deserve better. So I'll be better, I promise. No more moody teenager." Deep down, he was terrified of pushing her too far and being asked to leave. He wasn't sure Rachel would ever do that to him, but the thought still terrified him. If he didn't have her, he had nobody left.</p><p>It was as though somebody had taken Rachel's heart from her chest and stood on it in front of her, watching the worry in Philip's eyes and once again cursing her sister. How could anyone do this to their old child? Make a young boy so insecure that he was scared to even be himself? "Listen to me, you don't need to be better." She hoped Eddie's meal could be saved for a later time because for now, she had one thing on her mind and it wasn't the food. "I want you here, with me and with Eddie. No matter what mood you're in, if you've had a bad day or a really good day. We love you Phil." Now she could feel Eddie's presence beside her, a calming addition as his hand held her own.</p><p>"She's right lad. You're one of us." Until that point, Eddie had stayed quiet to let them both talk. He knew they both needed this, knew Philip needed some reassurance and Rachel was more than happy to give him that. But now was his time to join in, thrilled that Rachel had included him and offered support from the both of them. He looked over and thought Phil may just combust if he let Rachel continue, knowing that she could go on all night with her reassurance for him. She wanted her nephew to feel safe and loved, he understood that, but her nephew currently looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole also. "Why don't you go for a shower? Pick a film for us all to watch when we come in?" Luckily Phil picked up on his thinking, and quickly agreed as he almost tripped over his own feet in a rush to get away from them both.</p><p>"I'm sorry your dinner plans we ruined." Rachel fell against his side, laying her head on his shoulder and once again appreciating the view as she finally settled against him.</p><p>Eddie let out a small laugh, reaching around her for a plate and holding it in front of her so she stayed in his arms. He held up the food, showing her exactly what he'd prepared. No chef by any means, he'd simply ordered her favourite Chinese meal and plated it up. "Who says it's ruined?"</p><p>It was almost a week later that Rachel found herself in a similar situation. Tucked against Eddie as a film played on tv, waiting for a pizza to be delivered, when she heard the sound of a key in the front door. She'd barely managed to lift her head when Philip burst into the room, face contorted and distressed. "She's gone!"</p><p>"Who's gone?" Both of them hurriedly sat up, looking at him in concern.</p><p>"Mum! She's gone!"</p><p>Rachel's stomach fell through the floor. "What?"</p><p>The teenager dropped onto the other seat, looking miserable. "She sent me a text, saying that she'd found a good deal on a flight and didn't have time to see me in person before she left, but that you'd look after me. I went to where she was staying, and it's already empty. She left already."</p><p>Eddie's jaw was practically on the ground. He couldn't fathom how any mother, any parent could leave their child like this. He'd known Melissa was selfish, but this was a whole other level. What had he seen in her? How had he ever cared?</p><p>Rachel had already crossed to sit next to Philip, grasping his hand. "I'm so sorry, love."</p><p>"Am I that bad?" He looked at her, upset. "I know I'm not perfect, but am I that bad?"</p><p>"Sweetheart, no." She grabbed his other hand as well, held them tightly. "It's not you, I promise. You are not at fault here."</p><p>Eddie nodded, leaning forward. "She's right. Your mum… I think she's probably going through some stuff, and she's not thinking clearly because of it." He and Rachel exchanged a glance, and she gave him a small nod. "If she was, she'd never have done this," he continued. Phil looked hopeful.</p><p>"You think?"</p><p>"I do. She loves you, she's just… in a bad place right now. It wouldn't surprise me if she came back in a few months full of apologies."</p><p>With a baby who might be yours, Phil thought. But instead, just nodded. "Okay."</p><p>Rachel and Eddie glanced at each other again, a thousand words passing between them unspoken. "I'll be upstairs," Philip said abruptly, pushing to his feet and dashing out the room before either could argue.</p><p>Eddie bit his lip. "Did I just lie to him?"</p><p>"Twist the truth, maybe." She shrugged, coming next to him. "But for a good cause."</p><p>He gripped her hand. "I know she's your sister, but Melissa sucks."</p><p>Rachel sighed, leant back against the sofa. "No arguments from me."</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>